


Not Another High School AU

by jadekirk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 13:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadekirk/pseuds/jadekirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, Sam and Cas get de-aged and they end up having to attend the local high school. Throw in misunderstandings, a Moonlighting inspired Shakespeare play, two rock stars, Sam's newest nemesis and a crazy teacher or two and it becomes a recipe for disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains quotes from Moonlighting (especially the episode 'Atomic Shakespeare') and various other shows and movies. Many thanks to my artist nicole_sill who created this awesome art. Written for the sastiel_bigbang and it's my first time having written something this so long.

It had been at least four months, Sam mused as he sat in his English class, since him, Dean and Cas had been hit with a deaging curse which turned them physically back into teenagers. None of them had lost any height or body mass but they just looked like younger versions of themselves. He sneaked a peak at Cas, trying to muster up the courage to ask him out on a date. It was frustrating, seeing as he and Cas were roommates but he could never seem to get the words out. 'One of these days,' he thought, chewing on his pen absently, 'I will actually get the courage to ask you out.'  
  
Just after the transformation, Garth had caught wind of strange goings ons at a nearby boarding school and they decided to enrol as students so they could investigate. After the hunt, it turned out to be a simple ghost who didn't like the construction work that was going on in the science wing, Dean wanted to stay on to Sam's surprise as he expected that Dean would be desperate to leave the school once the hunt was over. Cas also was agreeable to staying on. Sam looked at the deaging spell as a chance to start again.  
  
Sam suspected that the English teacher, Mr Willis, who was a teacher from England and spoke with a fairly posh English accent, and also taught Drama, had something to do with his decision. Mr Willis could wax lyrically about classic rock all lesson if he had to. He also had a great sense of humor and he was always cracking jokes about various things. English was definitely becoming Dean's favorite lesson.  
  
Sam stretched out his long legs, accidentally kicking the chair in front of him, causing the teenager sitting in said chair to turn around to face him. He gave the teenager an apologetic look which caused the teenager to glare at him over the rims of his black glasses. The teenager really did have a deadly glare. If looks could kill, Sam would be dead on the floor and possibly on fire with the intensity of the look aimed his way.  
  
Sam shrugged and the teenager turned back and bent his head over his notes. Bardulf James was a tall, slim, red haired teenager and a bit of a loner as he was quiet and shy. He did not speak very much but when he did, he spoke in a soft voice. He was also always wearing long sleeves and pants, even on the hottest days. Sam had wondered about that, but when he asked Bardulf, Bardulf told him that because he is a natural red head, he burns easily in the sun. He didn't play any sports because he had a doctor's note that exempted him from high impact sports, due to a car accident he was in that had shattered his bones on his right side, which unfortunately made him a target for the football team, who called him a wuss and too scared to play a real man's sport. Bardulf just shook his head and told them that he would heal eventually, but probably wouldn't want to dirty his hands on a sport that relies on the players wearing a lot of padding anyway. Sam got the feeling that Bardulf could be a secret snarker sometimes.  
  
He worked part time down at the local resturaunt, along with his friend and co-worker who was a waitress there. The red head, surprisingly, excelled in Home Ec, coming up with dishes so complicated and tasty, while others in the class struggled with simple dishes, that Sam was envious and wanted to know what his secret was. Bardulf just said that he cooked a lot at home, but Sam had the feeling that he wasn't telling the whole story.  
  
Bardulf's friend was a girl in their year named Darcy, who was a brunette with black rimmed glasses. Darcy also had  a job working as the early morning radio show that greeted the students as they woke up every morning. Darcy liked to say what she thought as was very firey and didn't stand for any crap from anyone. Apparently, according to rumor, Darcy was asked out by one of the football jocks and when she said 'no' he grabbed her but she ended up kicking the said football team member in the nuts, causing him to let her go to fall in a heap at her feet. Sam hoped that he never got on the wrong side of her as he didn't want to be hit there. He was still having flashbacks to the Nutcracker Game show that Gabriel had trapped them in a few years ago.  
  
The door of the classroom opened, interrupting Mr Willis' speech about how Shakespeare wrote his plays, drawing Sam from his staring at Cas, and a tall, slim teenage boy, wearing all black walked in, followed by the Principal, Ms Nightingale. The Principal, leaned forward and was talking to Mr Willis in low hushed voices. the teenager was standing there looking awkward.  
  
Dean leaned over to Sam. "Hey, Sammy, doesn't he look familiar to you?"  
  
Sam shrugged. "Uh, maybe." his attention was drawn by Bardulf straightening up in his seat. Sam wondered what he was thinking then decided he didn't care.  
  
Mr Willis turned to the class and indicated the teenager standing next to him. "Class, this is Barty. He's a new student all the way from Scotland. That's in the United Kingdom for those who are failing Geography. He's also the younger brother of the rock star, J Brightwolf..."  
  
Dean took in a deep breath.  "I knew it! That`s awesome."  
  
"Barty, why don`t you go and sit in between Bardulf and Lewis?" Mr Willis stated with a mischievous smile. "Maybe then they won't be passing notes like a pair of lovestruck teenagers and they will actually pay attention."  
  
Barty obeyed, slinking between the desks like a born rock star. He sat down in the desk next to Bardulf, and smiled at the teenager, who turned around and stared at him, earning a dirty look in reply. Barty shrugged, seemingly not bothered by it, and his grin grew wider as he turned in Darcy's direction. He gave her a flirtatious smile.  
  
Bardulf scribbled something on a piece of paper, folded it, and slid it onto Barty's desk. Barty looked at him and then to the note. "I'm not your go between for you and your girlfriend," he said quietly in a Scottish accented voice.  
  
"For you. And she's not my girlfriend."  
  
Barty unfolded the note, read it, allowed a wolfish grin to cross his face and wrote something back.  
  
They passed the note back and forth until Barty set aside the note, accidentally knocking the note onto the floor with his elbow.  
  
Sam used his feet to bring the note closer to him and then bent and picked it up to read it.  
  
 **She has a taser and she's not afraid to use it, Barty.  
  
 _That makes it even more attractive._  
  
Only you could get hot under the collar at the threat of violence.  
  
 _Well, I like it rough._  
  
TMI.  
  
 _Huh?_  
  
Too Much Information. Meaning, I don't wish to know.  
  
 _Sure she's not your girlfriend?_  
  
No. She's my good friend.  
  
 _You're very protective of her. Seems like a girlfriend to me._  
  
I will borrow her taser and use it on you.  
  
 _Now that's just kinky. What are you doing tonight?_  
  
Working  
  
 _Boring._  
  
Says you. Mr Ego. I happen to enjoy my job.  
  
 _Pot. Kettle._  
  
Not going to discuss that now. Just pay attention to class.  
  
 _Nerd._  
  
Better a nerd than a jumped up attention seeker.  
  
 _Ooh that hurts. So what's the gossip here?_  
  
Well, I'll tell you later. I have a feeling it's gonna be a comedy of errors before it all gets sorted out.  
  
 _Right. What's your room number?_  
  
506  
  
 _My room's 507. We're neighbours_  
  
You're Dean Winchester's roommate? Oh he will love you. We share a bathroom.  
  
 _Is he hot? Single? Does he have a brother or sister?_  
  
Yes. Dunno. One brother. The one behind me.  
  
 _He's nice._  
  
You're wasting your time. I think he is interested in someone else.  
  
 _Who?_  
  
Tell you later. Dean's the one sitting next to him.  
  
 _I see what you mean by hot. Bet he looks good naked._  
  
I wouldn't know. When you and Dean room together, don't be your usual messy self.  
  
 _Who said I was messy?_  
  
Your brother.  
  
 _Did he? He can, what's the phrase, bite me._  
  
You might enjoy it.  
  
 _Whatever. I'm not the only one who bites._  
  
I'm not commenting on that.  
  
 _You know it's true._  
  
I'll bite you in a minute.  
  
 _And you say I'm the kinky one. What about the blue eyed hottie next to them?_  
  
Cas? Don't even try it, Barty. He's interested in someone AKA not you.  
  
 _Who?_  
  
Tell you later.  
  
 _Okay. Your room, after lessons today. Or would you prefer us to have our meeting in the bathroom that we share?_  
  
Not while I'm showering.  
  
 _You'll be naked?_  
  
Duh. That is how you shower, you know.  
  
 _You'll be naked._  
  
And would Polly like a cracker?  
  
 _What?!_  
  
You sounded like a parrot then.  
  
 _Screw you, your cousin too and your brother._  
  
I'm sure that's illegal in certain states. Have you been listening to Daphne and Celeste again?  
  
 _Maybe._  
  
And you call me a nerd.  
  
 _You are a nerd._  
  
Look, we'll talk later. Mr Willis is looking over here very suspiciously.  
  
 _Fine. Don't avoid me or I will invade your shower time._  
  
I won't.**  
  
Sam folded up the note and slipped it into his pocket, shaking his head in amusement, making a note to show Dean and Cas said note as the bell rang, signifying the end of the lesson.  
  
He jumped when Dean placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. "I'm gonna show Barty around. He's my roommate so I have to play nice," Dean said in Sam's ear.  
  
"Sure. Go make nice with your roomie. Cas and I will meet you at lunch," Sam stated. He could see that Dean's admiration for Barty would probably bloom into a full scale crush which had a very high likelyhood of being returned, judging by the admiring look Barty had shot Dean. If only Cas would return his feelings and then Sam could be happy. Unfortunately, the likelyhood of that would be very low.  
  
Dean gave Sam's shoulder one last pat before him and Barty walked out of the classroom.  
  
Sam's attention was drawn by Cas moving to stand in front of Bardulf's desk and jealousy brewed inside him. He had to squash it down as there was a perfectly good reason for Cas to go and talk to Bardulf... Wasn't there?  
  
"Bardulf, may I speak with you a minute?" Cas asked in that low voice of his. "In private?"  
  
"Uh, sure," Bardulf said quietly and, if Sam's ears weren't decieving him, a little warily.  
  
Sam knew that there was a huge hint for him to hurry up and get out the classroom so he gathered his stuff together quickly. "I'll wait for you outside, Cas," he said, feeling slightly rejected.  
  
Cas looked at Sam and his expression seemed to lighten slightly. "Thank you, Sam."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
  
"My roommate is so cool," Dean gushed ouside the classroom. He had come back from giving Barty a quick tour of the school to find Sam still waiting outside the classroom. "He's been telling me all about his brother and the band."  
  
"That's great, Dean," Sam said. "He must be like your wet dream come true."  
  
"Well, of course. If you shared a room with a rock star, or in this case his brother, yo'd be the same."  
  
"While, I admit that their tunes are catchy," Sam stated, "I wouldn't gush over them like you are."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, you'd be into bubblegum pop or emo music."  
  
Sam punched Dean in the sholder. "Shut up. "  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"At least I don't listen to mullet rock."  
  
"Shut up. They're good songs."  
  
"Yeah, if you're a biker." Sam looked around.  
  
"You seen Cas anywhere?"  
  
"Last I saw, he was chatting to my arch nemisis about a project they have to work on together. He glared at me again."  
  
"What does he have against you?"  
  
"No idea. I think he's just grumpy." Sam saw Cas coming out of the classroom and he smiled. "Cas! Save me from Dean's drooling over J Brightwolf's younger brother."  
  
Cas tilted his head in a way that Sam found utterly adorable. "Why would I do that?"  
  
"Because... Just because."  
  
"Is Dean not allowed to admire his roommate?"  
  
"No. Yes, but he can do it quietly. I'm sure everyone knows by now that Dean has a not-so-secret crush on him."  
  
Dean punched Sam in the arm. "Shut up, Bitch."  
  
"Jerk."  
  
Cas tilted his head. "Why would Dean want to crush him?"  
  
"Figure of speech, Cas. It means he really likes him. He thinks he's gorgeous, he wants to kiss him..." Sam adopts a singsong voice. "He wants to hug him... He wants to love him... He wants to hug him... He wants to smooch him... He wants to... Ow!" Sam yelped as Dean punched him again.  
  
"Dude! Did you seriously just quote Miss Congeniality then?" Dean asked, frowning as Bardulf exited the classroom at that moment. Sam wondered how much his arch nemesis heard, especially with the expression on his face. Dean cornered Bardulf, pushed him against the wall and pinned him there, getting into his personal space in a threatening manner. "How much did you hear?"  
  
"Uh, not much," Bardulf answered, looking Dean right in the eyes. "Just you asking Sam if he was quoting Miss Congeniality."  
  
Sam got the feeling that Bardulf was lying but he couldn't prove it. He sneaked a look at Cas who looked like he was about to interject. "Come on, Dean. He can't prove anything."  
  
Dean leaned forward further into Bardulf's personal space. "If you heard anything else and you tell anyone, I will end you," Dean growled, pinning the red head harder against the wall, causing his glasses to slip down his nose. "Got that?"  
  
"Loud and clear," Bardulf answered quietly. "Can you let me go please?"  
  
"Tell anyone about this conversation and I will end you as well."  
  
Bardulf gave Dean a look. "What? Tell them you pinned me to a wall and threatened me? As if. I'm not a snitch."  
  
"Good. Keep it that way."  
  
"Can you let me go?" Bardulf asked, giving Dean a look.  
  
"Oh yeah, you look at Sammy wrongly and I will end you."  
  
"Dean..." Sam began, not wanting Bardulf to think that he couldn't fight his own battles. "He's fine. I can handle it."  
  
Bardulf let out an exhale of breath and let his head fall back against the wall. "Are you going to let me go or am I just going to be stuck here all day? I get that you're an overprotective older brother and I respect that but I don't go around pinning innocent people against walls."  
  
That was the most that Sam had ever heard Bardulf state in one breath. Usually he stammered a few words but then again, Sam doubted that Dean had threatened him before.  
  
"Anything else you're going to threaten me against revealing or doing?" Bardulf asked, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Such as your not so secret crush on J Brightwolf." Before Dean could hit him, he quickly elaborated. "It's pretty obvious. A blind cat could see it. I'm not judging. And I'm not likely to tell. Not that, anyway." He sighed. "We all have our secrets."  
  
"Dude, I'm not gay," Dean elaborated, pushing Bardulf against the wall again.  
  
"Never said you were. There is nothing wrong with having a crush on a rockstar... Trust me. He'd be flattered. Really."  
  
"And you know this, how?"  
  
"Well... Does it matter?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So, uh, can you let me go? I have places to go, people to see."  
  
Dean finally released Bardulf. "Tell anyone and I'll end you."  
  
"I won't." Bardulf tugged at his clothes, trying to straighten them up.  
  
"Good. Good talk. Now get out of here."  
  
"I'm gone." Bardulf quickly moved away from them.  
  
Cas watched him go. "Dean, why did you threaten him?"  
  
"Dude, seriously? He's a jerk."  
  
"That's just an act. Dean, promise me, you won't threaten him again."  
  
"Why?" When Cas didn't answer straight away, Dean had to elaborate. "Why, Cas? What aren't you telling us?"  
  
"I believe it would not be prudent for you to threaten a fellow student without the risk of you getting in trouble, Dean."  
  
"I can handle myself, Dude."  
  
"I know, Dean."  
  
"Right, so now we are all on the same page... Let's get to lunch. It's cheeseburgers on the menu today."  
  
Sam rolled his eyes. "How can you think of food at a time like this?"  
  
"Very easily."


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Sam entered the dorm room after his usual early morning jog around the block. He noticed Cas sitting on his bed, looking pensive. "Cas, you okay?" he asked, trying not to imagine Cas on his bed wearing nothing at all.

Cas looked up from where he was trying to stare a hole into the carpet. "Sam, I am well. I was just... thinking."

"About?"

"Everything. You, me, Dean, my father's plan."

Sam ran a hand through his hair, wincing slightly at the wet feeling left on his palms. He needed to have a shower, preferably with Cas joining him to wash his back but he didn't want to scare the ex-angel. "Oh, well, you know. I can't speak for your father but Dean and I are glad to have you with us."

"You are?"

"Sure, man."

"That is good to hear. Since I fell, you two are my only friends." Cas paused. "You've been very patient with me while I learn how to be human."

"Dean and I have had a lifetime to learn. You've only been human, what, a few months now."

"Yes." Cas looked upset. "I may not know all the particulars about being human but I never realised that being human was so hard..."

Sam wanted to sit next to Cas and comfort him by giving him a hug but he thought that Cas would be repulsed by his smell. He settled for putting a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Being human is hard. Even for us who were born human." He tried for levity. "Dean would call us a bunch of girls."

"No chick flick moments." Cas agreed. "Sam, how do you tell someone you like them?"

"You usually just tell them. Unless you just can't get the words out. Why do you have someone in mind?"

"I do not know yet. These feelings are confusing."

That's the peril of being human, I'm afraid."

"But Sam, I've never been human before. It's frightening."

'Right, Sam, this is when you tell him of your feelings,' Sam thought, gearing himself up to spill the news. "Being human isn't all bad," were the words out of his mouth instead. 'Come on, Sam. Just a few words. That's all you have to speak.'

"But I was an angel. And now I'm human. Dealing with feelings and emotions and just the bodily functions is... Unsettling."

"Dude, TMI."

"What?"

"Too much information."

"I see. I have a lot to learn. Human customs are strange. The showering alone..."

"Yeah, Cas. Speaking of showers, I need to have one before classes."

"I won't keep you any longer."

Sam gave Cas one last pat on his shoulder and headed towards the bathroom. As he undressed, his mind played out a fantasy of Cas walking in on him and offering to wash his back. "Never gonna happen," he muttered. "Not unless you tell him how you feel."

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

After a long shower where Sam was debating whether or not to tell Cas on how he feels, Sam had finally plucked up the courage to tell Cas how he feels. Although if Cas rejected him, he didn't know what he would do. That was the horrible thought running through his head as he dressed in the bathroom.

He opened the door to be met with a horrible sight. Cas and Bardulf were pressed up close to each other and they looked as if they were kissing. "Uh, excuse me," he muttered, looking horrified and feeling like his heart had be torn in two.

Cas broke away from Bardulf to look at Sam with a stunned look on his face. "Sam... I..."

"Save it!" Sam snapped, feeling hurt and wanting to punch Bardlf in the face for stealing his Cas away from him.

"But..." Bardulf tried, stumbling over his words. "It's not... I mean..."

"No. I'm going. I don't want to hear your excuses." Sam turned and walked out again, ignoring Cas' yell for Sam to come back.

Sam found himself outside Dean's dorm and knocked on the door. He smiled at Dean when he answered, hoping his heartbreak didn't show on his face.

Dean wasn't fooled for a second. "Sammy, what happened?" Dean asked, ushering Sam in and shutting the door behind them.

Sam noticed they weren't alone as Barty was sitting on his bed restringing a guitar on his lap. "Uh, Dean..."

"Relax. Barty is a good guy. He won't say anything. Just say what's wrong."

Sam sighed, torn between asking Barty to leave so he and Dean could have a private chat and just blurting it out. "I caught Cas with someone. I was going to tell Cas that I had feelings for him..."

"Feelings as in 'you're my best friend' or feelings like 'I want to bone you'?"

"Uh, the second."

"Cas? Really?"

"Cas is a good guy. He's helped us a lot."

"True. So you want to bone Cas but Cas is with someone else, right?"

"Yeah, that sums it up."

"Male? Female? I'm trying to see if you even have a chance with Cas. So I need to know whether his partner was male or female."

"Male. What do I do?" Sam asked Dean, mindful of Barty sitting on the other bed, now tuning his guitar. He lowered his voice. "Once we change back..."

"Hey, from what I see, both Cas and his boyfriend are legal anyway. They are legal right?" Dean shrugged.

"Dunno. Well, he's in our year so maybe."

"Maybe he'd like an older boyfriend." He smiled as a devious plot formed itself in his mind. "Well, what you do, Sammy, is date someone else to make him jealous."

"I can't."

"You can. Just make sure they are legal. No sleeping with them required." Dean looked over to Barty strumming a tune on his guitar that Sam recognised as the opening bars of 'Back in Black'. "What about him? He's legal. Or very nearly. His birthday's in April. April eighteenth to be exact."

Sam took in the teenager, making note of the dark hair, black outfit and rock-star attitude. Sam guessed that was what you'd act like if you happened to be the younger brother of a famous rock-star like he was. "What? Dean... No. He's more your type."

"Hey! Don't bring me into the conversation," Barty interjected. "And I'm everyone's type." He sighed. "Have they actually come out and said they were dating?"

"No. I don't want to talk to either of them at the moment. Cas because I might spill out my feelings for him and him because I might punch him in his face and break his glasses."

"So who's the guy who stole Cas' heart?" Barty asked, curious now.

"Bardulf."

There was a loud twang as the teenager's finger slipped on the guitar string. " Sorry. Finger slipped. What has he done now?" he asked in a long suffering tone of voice. "I mean, apart from stealing your Cas."

"Isn't that enough?" Sam asked, getting a shrug in reply. "I want to punch him in the face and break those glasses of his."

"You know, J is a black belt," Barty stated, referring to his brother.

"That's nice, but we're discussing Bardulf, not your brother," Sam said with an eyeroll.

Barty bowed his head and muttered something that Sam couldn't quite hear and Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was that he had muttered.

Dean smirked. "Hey, it's a win-win situation for you too, Barty."

Barty looked up at Dean and frowned in confusion. "Huh?"

"I've seen you staring at Bardulf. You might attract his attention too."

"No. I have no interest in him. We dislike each other."

"Fine line between love and hate. Your names are almost the same. It's like you two were made for each other."

"Are you trying to set me up with my... my arch nemesis?" He let out a deep breath. "Okay, I'll do it but... no setting me up with Bardulf. I don't want to date him."

"Barty," Sam began, "you don't have to pretend to be my boyfriend if you don't want."

"Hey, at least you`re cute."

Sam flushed. "Thanks, I think."

"Take it as a compliment. I mean it." Barty stood up and walked over to Sam. He stood at only a few inches shorter than Sam. Sam guessed he was about Dean's height. "You are tall. Are you still growing? I hope not."

Sam ducked his head in embarrassment. "I don't think so."

Barty smiled. "The question of everybody's lips will be whether you're a top or bottom."

Dean covered his ears. "I don't need to hear this."

Sam shook his head. "You suggested it."

"Doesn't mean I have to hear all the gory details. Just don't hurt him."

"Cas is not a delicate flower. But I won't hurt him. That is if this plan of yours works."

"It will."

"Oh yeah? Got a crystal ball handy, have you?"

"It's a classic for a reason. It'll work."

"If it doesn't cause chaos in the meantime," Barty interjected.


	3. Chapter 3

"I have feelings for Sam," Cas stated, surprising Dean, once Cas had caught Dean alone a little while later. "but James and I are good friends."

"You referring to your boyfriend by his last name now?"

"No, Dean, James is his first name. Bardulf is his... middle name. Or a approximation of it."

"So what's his last name then?"

"I can not tell you. I will not betray his trust."

"Dammit, Cas! Why not?"

"Because he is a private person. He does not want his business known publically."

Dean scowled, but decided to let the matter drop for now. "So, you're dating 'James' but you have feelings for Sam? Does James know?"

"Yes, Dean. James and I are not dating. We're just friends. I do not like that Sam is dating Barty... and nor does James for that matter."

"What does he have against Barty?"

"That's part of the private business."

Dean rubbed his forehead. "So let me get this straight, you aren't dating but Sam thinks you are and you're jealous because Sam is dating someone else?"

"Yes, Dean. Sam is too good for Barty." A pause. "I want Sam to notice me but he is too wrapped up in Barty to notice me."

Dean smiled as the devious plot formed itself in his mind. "Well, what you do, Cas, is actually say that you and James are dating. That would make him take notice and get jealous." He frowned. "You may want to run the plan by James first... so he knows what's what."

"I think James would like this plan. He can be as devious as his brother sometimes."

"He has a brother? Another dork?"

"He does. He is the oldest of a set of identical twins and I do not think his brother would appreciate being called a dork."

Dean smiled. "Well, I do like twins. Especially red heads... Not that he's my type. I bet he listens to Celine Dion or other emo music."

"He, from what I can gather, doesn't like Celine Dion."

Dean waved his hand. "So, Cas, are you going to tell Sam that you like him or not?"

"I will try your plan first. See if that gets his attention."

"Sure."

"Of course, it might all go all wrong."

"Cas, don't be such a Debbie Downer. What could possibly go wrong? C'mon, let's find your friend and run it by him."

"This is a bad idea," Cas said, as Dean led him to Bardulf's room. He knocked on the door.

"Hang on a sec, let get some clothes on," Bardulf called on the other side of the door. The door opened a few seconds later and Bardulf looked surprised at his visitors. "Dean, Cas. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"We need to talk to you," Dean said, pushing his way in.

"Sure, come in," Bardulf said sarcastically, closing the door behind Dean and Cas. "What's this all about?"

"Well, you know how I feel about Sam?"

"Yeah. Pretty obvious. What about it?"

"Well, I got a brilliant plan. You and Cas pretend to date and hopefully Sam will wake up and smell the coffee and notice Cas."

"That's a terrible plan," Bardulf stated.

"It's a fantastic plan. What can possible go wrong?" Dean questioned.

"You've jinxed it. That's like saying 'This is the best Christmas Watford will ever had' or something like that."

"Huh?"

"I don't understand that reference."

"Never mind. If someone says 'what can possibly go wrong' it means everything will go wrong."

"You are a Debbie Downer too."

"I'm a realist."

*~*~*~*

 

A few days later, after Sam had given Dean's plan some thought, Sam knocked on Barty's door, hoping Dean was out as he didn't want to deal with his brother mocking him for what he was about to do.

Barty opened the door, wearing just a pair of boxer shorts and towelling his slightly damp hair. "Sam, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Sam's brain stuttered to a halt as he took in Barty's body. Barty was pale, slim and slightly muscular. While Sam liked Cas, he could appreciate another person's body. "Uh, well, is Dean here?"

"No, he's not."

Sam breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I have a favor I'd like to ask you and I didn't want Dean to know... yet."

Barty opened the door wider so Sam could come in. "Come in."

Sam entered the room and shut the door behind him. "Thanks."

Barty pointed to Dean's bed. "Sit. Let me chuck on some clothes first and then tell me what the favour is," Barty said, throwing the towel onto his own bed and pulling on a pair of black sweatpants. "So what's the favour?"

"Uh, it's something you said earlier."

"About?"

"Well, you said that a song could reveal a million things."

"I want to do that for Cas... But I can't sing."

"So you want me to give you singing lessons?"

"Yeah. If it's not too much trouble."

Barty smiled. "Hell no. As the band is on hiatus with John and Jack back in Cardiff, D is travelling and J is...around, I need something to keep me occupied. In case it escaped your notice, that was a 'yes', Sam."

"Thank you," Sam gushed. "I owe you big time for this."

"Nah, just name your adoptive child after me and we'll call it square," Barty said, extending his hand which Sam shook.

Sam noticed that Barty's fingers were calloused and frowned.

"You can always tell a guitarist by their hands," Barty said, seeming to read Sam's mind. "True guitarists have callouses on their fingers from the strings. Sometimes on just one hand, if they use a plectrum, but if you're like J, it'll be on both hands."

"Oh. Right."

Barty smiled. "Besides, what kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn't help you get the man of your dreams?"

"A bad one?"

"Exactly."

"So what are you doing for Spring Break?"

"I'm flying back to Cardiff with my brother." Barty sighed. "That'll be fun. What about you?"

"Driving back to Kansas." Sam grinned.

"Is Cas gonna be there?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if you don't come back without a tale on how you didn't pin him, or get pinned by him against a wall, then I dunno what I'll do with you."

"Against a wall?"

"Can't beat it."

"Hey, we must keep in touch while you're in Cardiff. I'll give you my Yahoo Messenger username." He reached for a bit of paper and scribbled down his username, handing it to Barty, who barked a laugh at Sam's username. "Dean chose it for me."

"Well, they are pretty epic." Barty grinned and wrote his own username down and passed it to Sam. "J set it up for me."

"I'll add you tonight."

"I'll be on then."

"Great." Sam smiled.

*~*~*~*~*

A few days later after a long trip back to the bunker for the Spring Break, Sam logged into Yahoo Messenger and frowned at his user name. Dean had chosen it for a joke and Sam didn't want to change it. He clicked on the name 'BJCJRockStar62' whose status read 'I hate flying and jetlag's a bitch' and typed a message.

BitchFace83:Hey Dude, how was your flight?

BJCJRockStar62: slow bumpy and n oisy

BitchFace83: Dean doesn't like to fly.

BJCJRockStar62: can see why not

BitchFace83: So what time is it over there?

BJCJRockStar62: just had something to eat. j cooked.

BitchFace83: Sounds like fun.

BJCJRockStar62: it's okay. he can cook. he wanted to be a chef before he became a rockstar. i love your name on here btw.

BitchFace83: Dean chose it.

BJCJRockStar62: how is my roommate?

BitchFace83: bored

BJCJRockStar62: asl

BitchFace83: huh?

BJCJRockStar62: j just told me to type those letters in

BitchFace83: you do realise you just opened the prospect for cybersex, don't you?

BJCJRockStar62: he just laughed and said it looked like i was cybering so he thought he'd give me hand in starting it off.

BitchFace83: bad choice of words there

BJCJRockStar62: what?

BJCJRockStar62: oh i see. no pun intended

BJCJRockStar62: do you think deans pplan would work

BitchFace83: Well, Caas isn't speaking to me at the moment. I think he hates me

BJCJRockStar62: or maybe hes jealous

BitchFace83: I'm hoping it's the second choice

BJCJRockStar62: me too

"Dude, are you having cybersex over there?" Dean asked, drawing Sam's attention away from the screen.

Sam laughed. "No, I'm chatting to Barty but his brother just told him to ask for my age, sex and location. I think he pulled a prank on Barty."

Dean choked and sat down next to Sam. "J Brightwolf just pranked you? Is he online?"

"No." Sam turned his attention back to the screen. He frowned when Dean typed a message and sent it.

BitchFace83: this is dean. does your brother come online at all

BJCJRockStar62:hey dean. not a lot but he likes to be invisible so he doesnt get spam whetver that means

BJCJRockStar62: j just said to give him 5 and he'll be online. hes just finishing up a new song

BitchFace83: Really? What's it called?

BJCJRockStar62: wolf in sheeps clothing

BJCJRockStar62: itll sound really good when the band get around to playing it

BitchFace83: dude, thats awesome. can't wait to hear it

BJCJRockStar62: ill pass the message on.

BitchFace83: Sam again. Dean needs to use his own computer

BitchFace83: i'll use the other computer then.

BitchFace83: Dean's just logged on to his own account. Mind if I add him to chat?

BJCJRockStar62: no go ahead

ZepplinRocks79 has joined the conversation:

BJCJRockStar62: hey dean

ZepplinRocks79: hey barty

BJCJRockStar62: j said hed be on in a few

BJCJRockStar62: hes on now mind if i add him

ZepplinRocks79: definitely not

BitchFace83: Go ahead

JBCRockStarNChef62 has joined the conversation:

JBCRockStarNChef62: Barty? What the Hell?

JBCRockStarNChef62: Hey everyone

ZepplinRocks79: hi im dean

JBCRockStarNChef62: Like your username, Dean. The Zep definitely rocks

ZepplinRocks79: At last someone with taste

BitchFace83: Hi. My name's Sam

JBCRockStarNChef62: Hi Sam. LOL What's with the username?

BitchFace83: My brother chose it for me

JBCRockStarNChef62: Brothers, eh?

JBCRockStarNChef62: So what has my idiot brother roped me into now?

BJCJRockStar62. hey

BJCJRockStar62: well, sam likes someone, who is dating someone else. so dean suggested that sam date me to make this person jealous.

JBCRockStarNChef62: Wow! What is this, a Shakespeare play? that's a crazy plan

ZepplinRocks79: its a sound plan

JBCRockStarNChef62: Yeah, if you want it to backfire on you

JBCRockStar62: As I said before, that's a crazy plan.

ZepplinRocks79: what can go wrong

BJCJRockStar62: That's jinxed it

JBCRockStar62: like saying 'This'll be the best Christmas Watford has ever ahd

JBCRockStar62: *had

BJCJRockStar62: have you been watching eastenders again?

JBCRockStar62: Well, the storyline is gripping... Uh, sorry back to the plan of Dean's

BitchFace83: Right. I don't lick the person that Cas has chosen

BitchFace83: *like

BitchFace83: Someone who has to be my mortal enemy. He keeps glaring at me during class

ZepplinRocks79: i dont do shakespeare unless its the version mr willis does

Bitchface83: He's our English teacher.

BJCJRockStar62: well, sam likes someone, who is dating someone else. so dean suggested that sam date me to make this person jealous.

BitchFace83: Someone who has to be my mortal enemy. He keeps glaring at me during class

JBCRockStarNChef62: Wait a minute. Not James Willis?

ZepplinRocks79: dont know his first name but possibly. you know him?

JBCRockStarNChef62: If it's the one I know... Is he a classic rock fan? Comes from England?

ZepplinRocks79: yeah. dude is awesome.

JBCRockStarNChef62: Yeah. I know him.

Bitchface83: Small world

ZepplinRocks79: he never mentioned that he knows you

JBCRockStarNChef62: When I knew him, I wasn't famous. Anyway, apart from cooking up zany plans, what have you been u to?

Sam hesitated. He didn't want to tell J Brightwolf about what he and his brother actually do for a living. He didn't want to scare the rock star, who seemed pretty cool, away.

Bitchface83: Not a lot. Dean and I just got rid of a few pests. It's a messy job bt someone has to do it.

JBCRockStarNChef62: That sucks. Wish you could've gotten rid of a pest earlier on for me. But nuff bout me, what else you been doing?

BitchFace83: Barty tells me that you can cook

JBCRockStarNChef62: Yeah, I enjoy working in the kitten

JBCRockStarNChef62: *kitchen. I swear I don't have a cat obsession. I like 'em and all but I'm not obseessed with 'em

BJCJRockStar62: so you say but you have 4 of the furry demons. one is currently sitting on my lap prring

JBCRockStarNChef62: He luvs you. You're as bad as each other. But back to the matter in hand. I love coking

JBCRockStarNChef62: *cooking The mistyping thing is catching

JBCRockStarNChef62: btw my typing sucks. esp after drinking whiskey. and am currently drinking some

ZepplinRocks79: what type

JBCRockStarNChef62: Double malt Scottish whiskey

ZepplinRocks79: cool save me some

JBCRockStarNChef62: will do. Am going to attempt to type at least properly now. or at least understandably.

JBCRockStarNChef62: And i think i didn't spell that right. But oh well

BJCJRockStar62: ive been helping sam out with the plan and giving him singing lessons

JBCRockStarNChef62: You already told me.

BJCJRockStar62: Whatever

JBCRockStarNChef62: How's that coming along?

BJCJRockStar62: He's good.

JBCRockStarNChef62: Good to hear. Think he'd be rockstar material?

Bitchface83: Thanks

BJCJRockStar62: no problem, sexy

ZepplinRocks79: right here you know

JBCRockStarNChef62: You two can flirt later

BJCJRockStar62: bite me j

Sam watched the messages fly back and forth between Barty and his brother.

JBCRockStarNChef62: So Sam, tell me about the guy you like

BitchFace83: Well, not much to tell. Known him for a long time

ZepplinRocks79: cas is like our best friend. more like a brother

ZepplinRocks79: but less pain in the ass than sam

BitchFace83: Hey! Jerk

ZepplinRocks79: Bitch

BitchFace83: But he's dating my enemy

JBCRockStarNChef62: So you're jealous?

BitchFace83: Yes

JBCRockStarNChef62: I see. Why is he your enemy?

BitchFace83: He's always grouchy and he glares at me in class. This dating Cas has pt him on my hit list though.

JBCRockStarNChef62: It might be something simple as not enough sleep or something

ZepplinRocks79: He has the room next to mine and barty's and he's always up before us

ZepplinRocks79: and I can hear Celine Dion coming from his room at all hours of the night.

JBCRockStarNChef62: No way! Urgh! Celine Dion.... Yuck!

BitchFace83: I dunno. He doesn't strike me as the type of person to listen to Celine Dion.

BJCJRockStar62: you're right. he's more of a rock fan.

BJCJRockStar62: he cornered me one time and asked me to practice my guitar louder as he said he sleeps better with rock.

JBCRockStarNChef62:Anyway, changing the subject back to the plan. Dean came up with this half cocked plan to make Cas jealous and then what?

ZepplinRocks79: sammy and cas ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after

ZepplinRocks79: didnt mean to make it sound like a chick flick moment

BitchFace83: S'okay Dean. We all know you're soppy under all that bravado

JBCRockStarNChef62: My lips are sealed.

ZepplinRocks79: good.

JBCRockStarNChef62: Crap! I have to go. My phone just went off. Sorry guys.

BJCJRockStar62: Want me to come along?

JBCRockStarNChef62: If you wish. Sorry again.

JBCRockStarNChef62: Talk to you later, guys?

ZepplinRocks79: sure dude.

BitchFace83: Definitely.

JBCRockStarNChef62: Bye all

ZepplinRocks79: bye j

BJCJRockStar62: i have to go too. speak later

ZepplinRocks79: bye barty

BitchFace83: Buye BBarty, Bye J

JBCRockStarNChef62: Bye Dean, Bye Sam, Bye Barty

BJCJRockStar62: bye dean bye sam bye j

JBCRockStarNChef62 has left the conversation

BJCJRockStar62 has left the conversation

Dean looked gleeful. "A rock star. I just chatted to a rock star."

"Yeah, I get it. You're in love. Even he thinks this is a crazy idea."

"Yeah, but he was drunk... Or on his way to getting there."

"Yeah. Now where's Cas gone to?"

"I think he and Kevin were in the kitchen."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I think Charlie turned up also."

"Good. Let's talk to her when Cas isn't around and see what she says."

"I know what she'll say."


	4. Chapter 4

In the first English class after Spring Break, Mr Willis was looking almost gleeful as he handed out stapled together bits of paper to everyone in the class. "Today, we're going to do a bit of reading of Shakespeare," he said with a joyful smile. "Well, Shakespeare with a difference."

Sam flipped through the pages, taking in such quotes as 'Doth bears beareth? Doth bees be-eth?', 'Your own Winnebago, a chance to direct, a piece of the syndication rights....' and 'It is plain the whole town knoweth of the deal 'twixt me and Petruchio. And if the whole town knoweth, then 'tis possible that Kate knoweth. And if Kate knoweth and knoweth that the whole town knoweth and knoweth that we knoweth that she knoweth - knowest what that means?'. Sam frowned in confusion.

Bardulf raised his hand, without looking up from the page he was looking at. "Sir, isn't this the version that they had on the tv show, Moonlighting?"

"And a thousand points to you. Not only are you a Pink Floyd fan but you can appreciate the classic shows as well," Mr Willis stated. "Now I'm going to pair you off with the help of my magic hat." He pulled out a bright orange top hat from behind his back. "I've put all your names in it and I'm going to pull out a name and the person I call is going to pick out a name, you read it out, and that's your partner for the day. Clear?"

A chorus of 'yes sir' echoed through the classroom. Mr Willis nodded and reached into the hat. "First up, our lucky contestant is... Drum roll please... Super Sam. Sam Winchester, come on down."

Sam sighed and walked over to where the hat was being held out for him. He reached in and pulled out a name, opened the scrap of paper and his heart skipped a beat as he read the name on there. "Uh, I've got Cas." He did a mental fist pump at fate going his way.

"Cas, will you go and sit next to Sam please?"

Sam moved to sit next to Cas and he smiled at the other man. He wondered what scene he and Cas would be reading out and hoped that it was the scene at the end where the characters declared their love for each other.

"Next up, we have Daring Dean," Mr Willis said, pulling the next name out of his hat. "Dean Winchester, this is your moment!"

Dean swaggered to the front and pulled out a name and laughed at what was written on the piece of paper. "I've got Britney."

Sam heard a loud growl coming from Bardulf's direction and wondered if he was going to have to shoot the other student to protect the blond teenager, who was sauntering to sit next to Dean.

Mr Willis smiled and stuck his hand in the hat again. "Next on the list is Jugband Blue James." He looked straight at Bardulf. "You're up. Take a chance and let the magic hat read you your fortune."

Bardulf sighed and dipped his hand in the hat, looking like he was praying he wasn't going to get someone he didn't get on with. He read the name on the bit of paper and sighed like it was the end of the world as he knew it. "I've got Barty... Fantastic."

Barty smirked and moved to sit next to Bardulf. "Hey. It's not the end of the world."

"Shh," Bardulf said, moving to put a hand over Barty's mouth. "Why couldn't I have had Dean instead?"

"Aw, don't be like that. I'm sure you love him really," Mr Willis stated with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Like a hole in the head."

Mr Willis grinned and reached into the hat again. "Next up on my Magical Mystery Tour is Dangerous Darcy. Darcy, pick your partner for a lesson of fun and games."

Darcy walked to the front and reached into the hat, pulling out a name. "I've got Zeb." She smiled at her partner and her smile widened as he blushed. She moved to sit down next to him and he shifted in his seat nervously.

Zeb was an exchange student from New Zealand and he somehow bore an uncanny resemblance to Barty but he had light brown hair and blue eyes. Sam wondered if he and Barty were related in some way. He was quite eccentric and had quite the hat collection. Today he was wearing a bright pink fedora set at a jaunty angle on his head. On anyone else it would look stupid but Zeb somehow made it work.

"I really like that hat," Mr Willis commented. "Maybe I should petition that everyone must wear a bright pink fedora on a Friday or something. What shade is that, anyway?"

"Uh, flamingo," Zeb answered, looking embarrassed that he was the center of attention. Sam noticed that Bardulf was eying Zeb's hat, like he wanted to get his hands on it somehow.

"It'll clash with your hair," Mr Willis said, obviously noticing the look that Bardulf was giving Zeb's hat. "Right, let me pick my next team..."

Sam listened as the rest of the students were paired off.

"Bardulf, why don't you and your partner go first?" Mr Willis asked, after all the students had been paired off. "Start off from "For it is plain to any fool."

Bardulf grinned at Mr Willis and read from the page. "For it is plain to any fool. That it be night and not day." He looked like he was thinking 'why the Hell am I the Shrew in this scenario?'

"Day it is if thy husband says it is so."

"Perhaps to a wife blinded by love but mine eyes see clear."

"Love or no. I be thy liege and thy lord that bringth home the bacon and provide a roof over thy thick skull. And that by the gods, if I say the moon be the sun then to you good wife it shall be so."

"Good wife I am in name only, good husband and thus it is the moon and tis the moon no matter what thy says."

"Tis the sun or no sleep for thee."

"Tis the moon and to bed I'm away."

"The sun."

"The moon."

"The sun!"

"The moon!"

"Bang zoom, I hope they like these jokes on the moon 'cause that's where you're going," Barty retorted.

Sam noticed they were really getting into the scene and he also noticed that Bardulf's accent had switched to a Scottish accent as they spoke over each other.

"Right, that was good, guys. You really nailed the love hate relationship between Kate and Petrucio at that popint in time," Mr Willis said, breaking into the reading.

"Thanks, sir," Barty said, looking at his feet.

"Yeah, thanks sir," Bardulf said, still speaking with a Scottish accent.

Sam looked at Barty, who was looking at Bardulf in shock. Sam thought he looked a little hurt at having his accent mocked like that and made a mental note to confront Bardulf after the lesson.

"Sam, why don't you go next?" Mr Willis said, avoiding commenting on the accent change.

"Uh, okay," Sam said, wondering what part Mr Willis was going to get him and Cas to play.

"Why don't you start from 'Aye, with a purpose'?"

Sam flipped through the pages until he reached the scene in question. It was as he thought, it was the scene at the end. "'Aye, with a purpose," he read, feeling nervous. He didn't want to look up to look at Cas' face. "There's a duty thou must perform."

"You have but to ask, dear husband. I do my best to please thee," Cas read woodenly, almost as if he was reading out a grocery list.

"That thou will. For I, thy lord, thy life, thy keeper. Thou art bound to serve, to agree to what he says to be true above all else." Sam paused for a moment. "Kate! I say, tis the moon and would thou not agree?"

Cas gave Sam a long look, before turning his attention back to the script in front of him. "Husband, I believe thouest art mistaken. If thou taketh another look, I'm quite sure thou error would be clear. Tis the sun, not the moon, that shines so bright."

"The sun you say? That be your final answer?" Sam asked, wondering if he should also ask Cas if he wants to phone a friend. "It is but I have one choice. I look again. Why as I live and breathe. It was indeed a mistake. My wife had called it. It be the sun and not the moon at all. I was wrong. Had learned it from a woman with much to teach. Thou art witness to a revelation. A long time coming. For those with bodies so soft and tender as well. All their gifts be so much more and be allowed to give it freely. This be offensive to men then so be it. Perhaps the time has come for offense. I have struck and deal with thy father if only, and only if I tamed thee. I renounce this deal and ask only for thy affection. Truth be told all was made by all. Kate didn't need to be tamed, only to be loved." Sam took a deep breath after his long speech and looked at Cas, knowing what came next.

"Kiss me, Pertruccio."

"All right, that was brilliant, you guys," Mr Willis cut in, before Sam could do as the stage directions said and pull Cas into a kiss. "You two really showed the love that they were at that stage in the play. You know, in Shakespeare's times, the women on stage were played by men so..."

"So women couldn't be on the stage?" Britney questioned. "Not at all?"

"No. 'Fraid not. If there were any women on the stage in those days, they would've had to pull a Twelfth Night and dress up as a man to be allowed to act."

"That sucks." Britney muttered. "To not be able to even have a chance to show of their skills."

Mr Willis looked at his watch. "We will continue the readings tomorrow." There was a huge sigh of relief from those who weren't picked to read out in class. "I know, the big bad teacher made some of you read out in class. I know I'm mean. We will spend the rest of the lesson discussing how Kate and Pertruccio went from arguing and hating each other to the heartfelt love declaration at the end."

"Fine line between love and hate," Dean stated. "The attraction was there from the beginning but they needed a kick in the pants to admit their feelings."

Bardulf frowned. "I think you're thinking of a different Shakespeare play." Sam noticed Bardulf's accent had switched back to American.

"Huh?"

"Much Ado About Nothing?"

"Oh."

"We'll be doing Hamlet before that one," Mr Willis interjected. "Dean has a good point."

The bell rang before he could say any more. "Right, people, I want you to write a thousand words on how the relationship between the two main characters develops during the play."

Sam noticed that Bardulf had rushed out the door. He looked at Cas and the hurt expression as he stood up.

"Sam, where are you going?"

"Uh, Cas, I'll catch up with you later." Sam said, rushing out the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"Can I have a couple of words?" Sam asked, chasing after Bardulf as Bardulf headed back to his room.

Bardulf stopped in his tracks and turned to face Sam. "Coffee and shotguns." he replied.

Sam looked confused at Bardulf's reply. "Huh?" Sam asked, as he caught up with Bardulf.

"Well, you wanted some words."

"No, I want some answers."

"Cardiff, answer B, Star Trek."

Sam's frown deepened at Bardulf's random answers. "Be serious. I want to know what that mocking of Barty's accent was about. What do you have against him?"

"Nothing. Not him anyway. I'm not that kinda guy."

"Huh?" Suddenly the double entendre of Bardulf's answer hit him. "Seriously?"

"I couldn't resist." Bardulf shook his head. "You made it too easy for me."

"Why do you hate him? Ever since he came..."

"TMI. I don't need to know what you and he do together, Sam."

"...You sound like Dean. Did you have a personality swap or something?"

"No."

"That's wasn't what I meant. Why did you mock his accent in English?"

"Sam, while I appreciate the fact that you are standing up for your boyfriend," Bardulf said, "there are some things I would like to keep private. That includes why Barty and I don't get on. Please don't pry."

"Damn it. Tell me." Sam clenched his fists but held them at his sides, in case he hauled back and punched the dude. It would be worth it to see the look on his face if he did though."Barty got upset when you mocked his accent."

"Did he? Or did he look more shocked than anything at my accent change?"

"Okay, he looked shocked." Sam looked serious. "I didn't think you had it in you to be that mean to him. He can't help being Scottish and has an unusual accent. He doesn't need people to make fun of him for it. I happen to like his accent."

"Really? Well, you're dating him. I guess that accent was as much a turn on for you as it seems to be for other people."

"I wanna know why."

Bardulf sighed. "Fine. I wasn't mocking him."

"You were."

"No, it was an accident. An accent slip. An error on my behalf."

"Huh?"

Bardulf sighed. "Come on. Why else would my accent slip if I heard a Scottish accent? Unless I grew up with a Scottish accent and after a long time hiding it to try and fit in with you Americans, I heard a Scottish accent and caused my accent to drift back to the Highlands." Sam noticed that Bardulf's accent had adopted a slight Scottish accent the longer he talked.

"You're lying," Sam said, grabbing Bardulf's arm.

Bardulf glared at Sam and pointedly looked down at his arm where Sam had grabbed him. "To quote Maddie Hayes in said play that we read in English: Unhand me."

"To quote David Addison: I'll try, but I don't think they'll come off! Not unless I used a machete."

Bardulf gave Sam a look. "A machete? Really? And to answer your inane statement, I'm not lying. Ask Cas if you don't believe me."

Sam lost all patience with Bardulf, cocked his fist back and then punched Bardulf in the nose, causing the red head to fall backwards against the lockers with a loud bang.

Bardulf narrowed his eyes at Sam as he dabbed at his nose with his free hand, which happened to be his right hand. Good, his nose was bleeding. He then punched back with his left hand and caught Sam on the side of his face, causing stars to explode in Sam's vision.

"Yo want a fight?" Sam asked, circling Bardulf. He went to punch Bardulf again, but Bardulf blocked it and then kicked him in the side.

Bardulf turned out to be quite an agile and experienced fighter. Sam thought he recognized some of the moves that his nemesis had used as ones an accomplished martial artist would use. The only thing that would've made this feel like it was from a action film would've been the song 'Beat It' or 'Kung Fu Fighting' playing in the background. He grabbed Sam by the front of his jacket and slammed Sam into the lockers with a strength that belied his slender figure, causing them to bang into the wall with a loud clang. "Black belt in case you are wondering." He frowned. "I think you broke my nose... and my glasses. Damn it!"

"But you have a doctor's note."

"Against doing high impact sports."

"When Dean pinned you against the wall, why didn't you fight him off then?"

"Because believe it or not, I believe in not fighting unless the other person had started it. If he had hit me, I would've done." Bardulf sounded almost sad about that fact.

Sam got the impression that Bardulf had been itching for a fight, maybe to release some of the pent up aggression that had possibly been gathering inside of him since Barty had arrived. He really was a study in contradictions. "Okay, can you let me go?"

Bardulf released him and shook his head, seemingly coming to a conclusion in his head. "Fine, whatever."

"Thanks."

"Tell anyone about our little conversation and you will regret it," Bardulf threatened, managing to sound menacing.

"I won't," Sam promised. He knew he wasn't going to but he really wanted to know more about his rival.

"Good. Have a nice day," Bardulf said with a fake smile as he turned and walked off.

Sam stood there, wondering how he was going to learn more about Bardulf. He was going to need Dean's help. First he had to find Dean, and hope Dean wasn't otherwise 'occupied'.

 

Sam found Dean, deep in conversation with Britney. "...Could come to my room after lunch, if you want," the blonde teenager was saying as Sam walked up to them.

"Yeah, that could work. Or after dinner if you want."

Britney smiled. "No, I have cheer-leading practice after dinner."

"After lunch it is."

"Great, I'll see you there," Britney smiled at Dean and skipped off, flashing a smile at Sam as he walked up to Dean.

Sam gave Dean a look. "Dude, you do know you're not actually a teenager, don't you?"

"What? Don't give me that look, Sammy. She's legal."

Sam shook his head. "Anyway, Dean. I need your help."

"With...?"

"I need to find out more about Bardulf."

"Cas' love interest? Ask Darcy."

"Darcy would tazer me if I started asking her questions about him."

"Don't tell me she scares you."

"She doesn't. I just want to know what I'm up against."

"Break into his room. Poke around."

"I want you to help me. Not get me in trouble."

"The best way to find out something about someone is to go into their room." Dean smiled. "It just so happens that we happen to share a bathroom."

"So?"

"So we can get in that way. Safer than doing it in the hall where anyone can see."

"True. So when are we going to do this?"

"I have a date after lunch, so... Dinnertime?"

"Yes."

"We'll eat quickly and then go. Make sure he's still eating." Dean frowned. "I want to know what he has against you, Sammy." Dean seemed to notice Sam's disheveled appearance for the first time. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Had a run in with the above person."

"Want me to beat him up for you?"

"No. I started it. I punched him in the face."

"So what started it?"

"He said something... About Cas." Sam saw Dean's face. "No, he wasn't nasty or anything. I just didn't like him mentioning his name."

"So you hit him? Dude, did we swap personalities or something? I'm the one who hits first and asks questions later."

"No."

"Cas really does have your tail in a spin, doesn't he?"

"I guess. He's just... Cas."

"You know, Sammy, I never pegged you for liking little nerdy angels but now I can see he is just your type."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you're both nerds and you do have that whole 'angel worship' thing going on. Just saying, you're perfect for each other."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Won't you be left out?"

"Nah. I've got my baby, my tunes and a load of willing partners so I'm happy."

"All that's missing is the pie."

"That too." Dean took a deep breath. "Find me a person that can make me the perfect pie and I'll marry them."

"Seriously, you'll marry someone for their pie?"

"People marry for a lot less. But, yeah." Dean patted Sam on the shoulder. "Look, we'll talk later, after we've got some info on your love rival."


	5. Chapter 5

Later the same day, after a rushed dinner, Sam and Dean made their way to Dean's room. Dean led the way into their shared bathroom and tried the handle to access Bardulf's room via the bathroom. "Locked," Dean muttered. "Never mind, we'll have this open in a bit." He got out his lock picking kit and set to work, jimmying open the lock so they could enter.

Sam busied himself by looking around at the surprisingly tidy bathroom. He walked over to the towel rack where there was three large towels, along with three smaller towels, neatly folded over the rails. One of the large towels was slightly damp, carrying a hint of musk. "He must have had a shower."

"Yeah. Gotta say one thing about him. Dude does smell nice." Dean didn't look up from his lock picking. "Nothing worse than getting close to someone and they smell. You know? And believe me, we've smelt some terrible things over the years, haven't we?"

Sam made a face, although he was tempted to point out that Cas smelled nice too, when he ever got close to him. "Yeah. Okay. Are you done?"

"Give me a second," Dean said, cheering quietly when the lock clicked open. "Done."

"About time." Sam said as they opened the door carefully and crept into Bardulf's room. The first thing Sam noticed about it was how tidy it was.

"Neat freak," Dean muttered as they moved over towards the bed. "People keep their secrets under the bed. Maybe we'll find his porn collection there."

"Not everyone ke..," Sam trailed off as there was the sound of keys in the lock outside. "Under the bed," he whispered, dragging Dean under the bed with him. They quickly shifted about, making sure no parts of them were visible before the door opened and Bardulf walked in, shutting the door behind him, not bothering to lock it. He walked over to the bed and flopped down on it with a loud sigh.

Sam winced as the bed shifted and creaked above him, causing the wooden slats to dig into his shoulder but he didn't dare make a sound. How would he explain what he and Dean were doing hiding under Bardlf's bed. Especially since Dean had picked the lock to get into the room. A dark green sweater hit the floor by the bed.

Bardulf suddenly stood up, narrowly missing Dean's hand with his foot and there was the sound of a zipper and suddenly his pants hit the floor, exposing pale muscular legs, which what looked like to be a tattoo of dark red and gold detailed feathers, all the way down the back of both his legs to his ankles. He kicked the pants into the corner. "That's so much better," Bardulf said out aloud as he flopped back on the bed.

The door suddenly flew open and someone entered. "Ah, there you are."

"Barty! Haven't you heard of knocking or is that concept too alien for you? I could've been naked. What the hell are you doing here?"

Wait! Hold the phone. Since when were Barty and Bardulf talking? When did Barty willingly seek out Bardulf's company?

"I wouldn't mind." A long pause. "Does that go all the way up your legs?"

"Pervert. Now that you're here, shut the damn door."

Cas' voice suddenly piped up. "Hello." Sam was glad that Cas couldn't see his face as he was blushing at the sound of the angel's voice.

"Do I have a sign on my door saying 'open to all' or something? Not that I'm not glad to see you, Cas," Bardulf's voice spoke above them, "but my room is not a meeting place. What are you doing here?"

"It's a free country," Barty retorted. "Shift over. Let Cas sit down." A pause. "Don't do anything I won't do. At least not without letting me join in."

The bed shifted again, pressing down harder on Sam's shoulder. He maneuvered his body so he was lying on his stomach.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, you kinky bastard," Bardulf stated, sounding amused.

"What was the expression? The more the merrier," Barty retorted. "I believe I have heard a certain brother of mine say that quite often."

"You're not invited."

"Are there whips and chains involved? If so, I am definitely invited."

"Well, I was thinking of breaking out the ropes and the gag so I can tie you up and gag you..."

"Kinky."

"...So I don't have to listen to your voice any more."

"Meanie. Everybody loves me."

"Not me."

"Liar." A pause. "Any way, I'm going to poke around in your wardrobe and see what boring stuff you have in here."

Dean lifted the bed skirt slightly and saw a pair of black clad legs make their way towards Bardulf's closet. The closet door opened and there was a loud crash as something fell down onto the floor. It sounded like a drum kit including a set of cymbals. Why Bardulf had a drum kit in his closet was anybody's guess. Sam was glad that they hadn't managed to open the closet if something was going to fall out.

"Careful, Barty!" Bardulf scolded. "I hope none of it's damaged."

"Sorry. Shouldn't have your drums in the wardrobe then."

"Well, where else am I going to put them?"

"Have them set up." There was the sound of someone, presumably Barty, assembling the drum kit. "Now to be nosy." There was the sound of clothes being shifted around on their hangers. "Boring, boring, oooh, now this looks interesting, boring, I want to nick this, boring, mmm, you know, you have a lot of boring clothes in here. You should wear this. What do you think, Cas?"

"Hey! Get your mangy paws off my clothes, Barty. How would you like it if I poked around in your clothes?"

"I'd let you borrow anything you like... as long as I get it back and it's not torn or have holes in it."

Sam wondered if Bardulf could fit into Barty's clothes and what the red head would look like in said clothes. His mind then wandered to the mental image of Cas in Barty's clothes and he had to bite down on his lip to stifle the sigh that threatened to escape.

"I think he should wear whatever is comfortable," Castiel said, a hint of frostiness in his voice. "And what pleases him, not to suit others."

"He should at least ditch the long sleeves at least once in a while. Wear something a little more form fitting. Like this for example. That'll make everyone stand up and take notice. Wear what he's wearing right now."

"I don't want to attract attention to myself. You know the reason why I wear long sleeves."

"What? You get sunburnt? Is that the line you're using?"

"It is a perfectly valid reason and it has a smidge of truth to it as I do burn in the sun. That is one of the reasons I wear long sleeves. This is the other reason I wear them out in public."

"What's a few scars? Oh come on! You might get asked how far up those feathers go. You never did answer my question."

A sigh. "Fine. If you must know..." Bardulf stood up, turned his back towards Barty and pulled up the back of his shirt, exposing his back to Barty. "Happy now?" he asked, tugging his shirt down but not bothering to tuck it in.

"Yeah. Why don't you go around like that more often? You'd attract more attention like that."

"I don't want attention. I'm happy just fading into the background."

"Is that why you don't say much in class?" Barty asked. "Are you afraid that your accent would slip again?"

"Why do you hate Sam?" Cas asked, derailing the conversation.

"Yeah, I mean, it looked like you wanted to strangle him with a guitar string earlier on," Barty interjected.

Underneath the bed, Sam's ears pricked up as he waited for Bardulf's reply.

"I don't hate Sam. I mean, yeah, he keeps kicking my chair with his freakishly long legs which is annoying but I don't hate him. He makes me feel short and I'm six foot one and a half, that's pretty hard to do but he's managed it." A pause. "Cas, don't look at me like that. You look like a confused kitten like that."

"I am not a kitten," Cas huffed, covering up Dean's stifled laugh from under the bed.

"Fine. You're a tiger in kitten's clothing," Barty said, joining in on the teasing.

Bardulf laughed, a deep rich sound. "Turning the question back to you, Cas, why do you hate Barty?"

"Hey!"

"I don't hate him. I just don't like that Sam and Dean spend a lot of time with him."

Barty sighed. "I'll tell them that they need to pencil you into their diaries. You should spend time with your friends and family and catch up on stuff." He sounded like he was dropping a hint with that comment. "Don't you think?"

"Thank you, Barty," Cas sounded strained as if it took a lot of effort to say those three words.

"So which of them do you like?" Bardulf asked, stressing the word 'like' as if it had some hidden meaning. He sounded like he wanted Cas to confess to something.

"I like both of them," Cas sounded confused now. Sam could see Cas tilting his head with that adorable confused look on his face.

"I mean, which of them do you really like? As in want to date."

"Oh. I... I'd prefer not to say."

"Both of them?" Barty interjected. "Holy love triangle, Batman. Did I say that right, James?"

Sam thought Barty was being rude by referring to Bardulf by his surname, but as their names sounded somewhat similar, he could see why Barty was doing it.

"Yep," Bardulf replied.

"Well, I know that one of the Winchesters likes you, Cas. I was there when he confessed his feelings to the other."

Sam wondered if Barty was going to mention who it was that said they liked Cas.

"Well, at least you picked some hotties to drool over. Dean reminds me of a cat. Wonder if he'd purr if I scratched him behind the ears."

"You and your cat obsession," Barty muttered. "Bet you'd get him a catnip mouse so he can rub himself all over it. Maybe a flea collar as well."

Sam had to clench his teeth to stop the laugh that threatened to escape. He could just imagine the pissed off look on Dean's face at the comments.

"With a little bell."

"And Sam is cute... in a puppy sort of way," Bardulf pointed out, shifting on the bed. "Maybe you could get him a dog collar for his birthday."

Dean stifled a laugh and Sam nudged him.

"Or some dog biscuits." Barty added with a laugh.

"A chew toy."

"A dog bowl."

"With 'Fido' written on the side. No wait! A bright pink bowl with 'Foofoo' on it. In silver writing."

"I do not believe that Sam or Dean would appreciate those particular gifts," Cas, bless him, said, sounding slightly amused at the other two's antics. Either that, or Cas was taking their advice to heart. Sam hoped that that didn't mean there were flea collars and dog bowls in the future for them.

"True. So, James, why are you so grumpy in the mornings?" Barty questioned, changing the subject.

"You'd be grumpy too if your neighbours decided that playing loud music until the early hours of the morning too."

"Thought you could sleep through anything."

"Not Celine Dion or any other type of whishy washy songs that they seem to love. I've complained about it but they haven't done anything."

"Poor James. Seems to be living on coffee and four hours of sleep each night. You should get them back by playing your music loudly. Or maybe just play the drums or your guitar every time they start. Maybe they'd get the hint."

Bardulf laughed. "I'd get in so much trouble... but it would so be worth it."

"Thought I was supposed to be the evil one."

"Yeah, well, I'm taking your title."

"You are both evil... in a devious way," Castiel piped up. "You are too much alike, even though you hide it well."

"Well, we are, you know..."

Sam wondered what they were talking about and whether Cas knew.

"Yes and at this moment it is very obvious."

"Changing the subject. How did Mr Willis find out you were a Pink Floyd fan?"

Bardulf sounded embarrassed. "He caught me...playing 'Another Brick in the Wall' on the guitar and singing along. He told me he admired my taste in music. We had a good long chat. And, yes, Barty, he knows. Before you ask."

"You wanted to keep it secret. You wanted to hide it. Of course he does. You haven't changed that much."

"Yes, well. I don't care. He won't tell anybody...He just told me that when I'm ready to tell, he'll be behind me." Bardulf sighed. "I thought it would be a laugh but now, I'm not so sure."

"You dug your own grave there."

"You're telling me. Oh well, once it comes out, I wonder if then they'll do something about my crappy neighbours..."

"Maybe. For the sake of our sanity..."

"Not that you have much of that."

"I hope they do."

"Well, they should, but you know them, they wouldn't want to upset the princess."

"Princess? Ha! She's no princess."

"True. Cas is more a princess than she is."

"I'm not even going to say what popped into my head right then."

"I think I can guess," Cas said, sounding unamused. "Your mind's a twisted place."

"Barty, your roots are showing," Bardulf blurted out suddenly.

"My roots?"

"Your roots."

"Oh. How much?"

"Not too much at the mo, but you'll need to buy some more dye soon. What shade is that by the way?"

"Why? Planning on dyeing your own then to match?"

"no, if I did dye my hair, I would make sure it is the exact opposite to you."

"That would be blond then. Sure your IQ won't drop if you dye it that shade?" Barty paused. "What you need, Bro, is a drink or two."

"Last time I got drunk, I ended up with a pink Dalek wearing a green feather boa in my room and I was covered head to toe in blue body paint," Bardulf commented. "I blame Jack."

Sam frowned as the mental image of the reserved teenager wearing body paint popped into his mind and his mind wandered towards Cas in said body paint. He also wondered if the body paint was the edible type.

"No Daleks this time," Barty promised, "although blue body paint might come in to it somewhere. C'mon J, please. I'll buy the drinks. Cas, you in?"

"No, someone has to keep an eye on Sam and Dean."

"Okay. Just don't keep a too close eye on them, unless you film it and show me later," Barty stated.

"Barty!"

"What?" Barty asked innocently. He sighed. "I need a shag."

"Go out on the fire escape! Last thing I want is for the fire alarm to go off."

"Fine. Sheesh!" The bed shifted as if someone was standing on the bed. "Coming James?" There was a rattling sound. "What was the last time you had one."

"Is that not illegal?" Cas questioned. "And outside too?"

"It's okay, Cas. I know what he means." Bardulf said. "I could do with one. I mean, a cigarette."

Wait a minute, Bardulf smokes and Barty knows this? What is going on here?

"Ah, I see. Why did you not just say that you wanted to smoke on the fire escape?"

"Brit slang." The bed shifted again as if the bed was being stood on again. "I can't believe I'm climbing out the window to have a cigarette in my underwear with Barty," Bardulf commented. There was the sound of what sounded like a blow torch lighting. Presumably he wasn't using a blow torch to light his cigarette but Sam wasn't exactly sure.

There was the sound of footsteps on the fire escape, approaching Bardulf's window at nearly a run. A cheerful voice, that Sam recognized as Darcy, rang out. "Nice legs! You should wear that more often."

Bardulf sounded suspicious. "What did you do, Darce?"

"What makes you think I did anything? I can't hang out with my friend now? Oh, hi Cas. Barty."

"Hello Darcy."

"Hi," Barty said softly.

The bed dipped as if someone had launched themselves through the window onto the bed. "Sorry, Cas," Darcy said. "Didn't mean to elbow you there."

"I feel as if my room has become King's Cross Station with people barging in left and right. I could've been naked for all you three know," Bardulf stated. He must have been leaning in through the window to talk to Cas and Darcy.

"Don't get your boxers in a bunch. If you had been naked, you wouldn't have been on the fire escape, smoking. Not unless you're secretly a nudist."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing." Darcy changed the subject around. "So what are you doing in here? Were you plaiting each other's hair and discussing boys?"

"We were discussing the Winchesters..."

"I knew it! So which one do you like, Cas? I could be your tazer wielding cupid. Could tazer your beloved into liking you."

Under the bed, Sam and Dean froze at Darcy's words. Sam did not want to be tazered by Darcy, even though she wouldn't have to tazer him into liking Cas as he was already there. That is if Cas liked him and not Dean. He hoped that she wouldn't tazer Dean either, if Dean was the one that Cas liked, because he knew that his brother didn't like Cas in that way. He wouldn't have suggested this crazy plot if he had any inking of attraction towards Cas. No, Sam suspected that Dean's attraction was pointed elsewhere.

"You have too many clothes on to be a cupid. And I do not think Sam or Dean would appreciate that course of action." Cas paused. "And I'd prefer not to say."

"Cas!"

"Aw, c'mon Cas. Inquiring minds wanna know."

"Darcy!"

Bardulf sighed. "I think I need that drink now."

"See, I told you that's what you needed," Barty sounded jubilant. "You need to drop the act and be your usual flirty self. Everyone needs to get drunk once in a while. What about you Darcy? What do you have planned?"

"I'm going to be in my room. I have an idea for a crossbow that's based on my tazer."

"That's awesome. You must let me try it out if you get it to work."

"You can't... I mean, I can see I'd be your first victim," Barty protested.

"What dear Barty is trying to say is that he thinks I'd use the taser on him. Isn't that right?" Bardulf answered, obviously used to translating 'Barty Speak'.

"Come out with us for a drink," Barty persisted. "It'll do you good and it might help... If only to keep him over there from getting his hands on a new weapon."

"You can invite Zeb, if you wish," Bardulf added. "Cas, you sure you don't want to come?"

"I'll keep an eye on Dean and Sam."

"Well, Dean copped off with Britney earlier," Darcy said. "I overheard Britney telling her friends about it."

Sam felt Dean's body stiffen behind him as his name was mentioned.

"Oh, is that what it was? I thought someone had run over a seagull with a lawnmower. What? I am right next door to her, y'know, and these walls aren't exactly thick. Why can't she swap with you, Darce and then at least I'll get some sleep?"

"Wish I could. What does he see in her anyway?"

"Apart from the obvious," Barty snorted.

"Yeah, apart from that."

"Are you speaking about Britney's 'assets'?" Cas asked, verbally adding quote-marks around the last two words. "Dean has said that the way to his heart is through pie," he added.

"Really? Well, isn't that interesting?" Darcy commented. "Apparently next Home Ec lesson, we're going to be learning how to make pies. People are already saying how hard it's going to be."

"Not that hard," Bardulf said. "You just cook the fruit, make the pastry. Then you line a pie tin with the pastry and put the fruit in the pastry. Cover it with pastry, sprinkle sugar on the top and stick it in the oven until it's cooked. Easy as pie. No pun intended."

Sam shook his head, thinking that the red head was showing off his skills in the kitchen. All right, he admitted it, he was jealous.

"For you, maybe," Darcy said. "You've got experience. Some of them don't know one end of a whisk from the other."

"Are we going out, or what?" Barty said impatiently, changing the subject.

"Yeah, all right, keep your boxers on." Bardulf said, clambering over the bed, followed closely by Barty. "I hate to love you and leave you but..."

"It's okay."

"You two can come if you want."

"Someone has to keep an eye on Dean and Sam."

"Darcy?"

Darcy sighed. "Okay, but only for a little while."

"Attagirl. Let's go to Vegas."

"No, Barty."

"But Peter..."

"Who's Peter?"

"Cousin," Barty said, opening Bardulf's closet. "Put this on."

"Must I?"

"Yes."

"Fine, but I'm going to have a shower first and get changed in the bathroom." Bardulf growled.

"Now now, you must put on a happy face."

"I'll show you a happy face with my foot up your..."

"Kinky."

A door slamming was Barty's answer. "He'll be fine. Just needs to unwind a bit. Get laid."

Sam privately thought that Bardulf really needed to unwind a lot. He hoped that the night out would make the red head mellow a bit. He wondered if he, Dean and Cas could also go out to try and unwind. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he could tell Cas how he feels. First, he and Dean had to get out of there. He carefully turned around to face Dean, nudging Dean to get his attention. "We need to get the hell out of here."

Dean nodded to show he understood the message. "When?" he mouthed back. "They don't seem to be going anywhere soon."

There was a shuffling above them. "Well, if we're going to hit the town tonight, I better get my glad rags on," Darcy said. "God, I sounded so British then. Must be hanging around you two for so long."

There was a snort of laughter from Barty. "Such a bad influence on you."

"You are." Darcy stood up and her footsteps could be heard walking to the bathroom. There was the sound of the bathroom door opening. "I'm gonna get... Oops, sorry. I forgot that you were going to have a shower and be so... naked." There was a muffled reply to Darcy's statement over the sound of running water and she laughed. "Nice tattoo." Another muffled reply. "Now, I don't know what you just said but I'm sure it meant 'Darcy, you're so awesome. Please stare at my butt a bit more'. Am I right?"

"No!" That was heard clearly as it was said very loudly. "Darcy, quit it!"

"What? I can't be curious on what you hide under those clothes?"

"I thought you were going to change, Darcy," Barty said, moving from the bed, towards the bathroom. "Nice tattoo, Bro." There was the sound of something plastic hitting the door. "Don't you need that? Now he's throwing things at me. Cas, come sort him out."

Sam clenched his fists, hoping that Cas wasn't about to join Bardulf in the shower.

"I believe that that would be counter-productive," Cas said. "I believe that your spying on him is agitating him."

"Uh, yeah. I'll just go and change," Darcy said, sounded distracted. "See you in a bit."

"I should go too. Make sure that Dean and Sam haven't got themselves into trouble," Cas said, moving to the bathroom door. "I will talk to you later... When you aren't so... unclothed."

"Okay. See you later."

"Yeah, Bye Cas."

"Goodbye Barty. Have a good night."

"I will."

There was the sound of a door opening and shutting behind Cas.

Two down and one to go. All Sam and Dean had to do now, was waiting until Barty leaves and then they could sneak out.

"J, I'm going to need the shower soon. So hurry up. I know you like to spend ages in there but I need to use it too," Barty said. A muffled reply was his only answer. "Oh, and here's the shower gel that you threw at me. Almost took my head off."

"Why don't you ask Sam if you can borrow his?"

"I'm not even going there. Look, I'm just going to wait in here until you get out so you better hurry up... or else." Barty's voice was echoing slightly, indicating he had moved fully into the bathroom.

Sam lifted the bedskirt and looked around. He didn't see anyone and he decided to seize the moment. "Come on, Dean. Let's get out of here," he whispered as he crawled out from under the bed.

"Bout time," Dean said, scrambling out from under the bed.

Together they crept to the door and quietly opened the door. After they had exited the room, they shut it carefully behind them so it shut with a quiet click.

They quickly walked down an empty corridor and breathed a sigh of relief.

*~*~*~*~*

 

"So what does that mean?" Sam asked, catching a hold of Dean's sleeve. "We didn't learn anything new from spying on him."

"Yes, we did. We learned that he has a tattoo on his legs and he's friendly with Barty."

"Yeah, but nothing useful."

"We did. We heard that he has a sense of humor. Even if he did threaten to get us flea collars and dog bowls." Dean paused. "And you're missing one piece of the puzzle here."

"What?"

"You're supposed to be the smart one. James knows that Cas likes someone else."

"Yeah, but, he didn't say any... Did you just call him James?"

"Uh, yeah. According to Cas, that's his first name but anyway, he knows Cas likes someone else..."

"What if it's you?"

"Me? Why would it be me?"

"Well, you have that whole 'profound bond' thing going on."

"In the unlikely event that Cas likes me like that, he's not my type."

"Kinda figured that. I bet I know who is your type though. A certain rock star's younger brother, perhaps? Or the rock star himself?"

"Shut up, Sammy. You breathe a word to anyone about this and I will tell everyone about your adoration for our awkward ex-angel."

Sam nodded. "I won't."

"Good. Besides, you can't go wrong with a sexy Scottish accent like J and Barty have." Dean paused for a moment. "You know, when James mocked Barty's accent, even he sounded sexy." He sighed.

Sam turned to face Dean. "Dean, are you saying you'd sleep with Bardulf if he had a Scottish accent?"

"What? No! He is not my type. Of course, if he wore tighter clothes, messed his hair up and lost his glasses then he might be good looking. Maybe not on the scale of J Brightwolf or Barty though."

Sam paused as a thought hit him. "Hey, Dean?"

"What?"

"What is the 'J' short for in J Brightwolf's name?"

"Dunno. Ask Barty if you want to know."

"He's your roommate."

"He's your fake boyfriend." Dean sighed. "Why?"

"Just curious."

"You've got your 'I must research this' face on."

"Yeah. I just want to know more about him. Especially when I'm fake dating his brother."

"Ah. Well, have fun." Dean said. "I'm going to find something to do while you're researching."

Sam shook his head. He knew what Dean's idea of 'having fun' entailed. He entered his room and started up his laptop. He opened his internet browser and typed in the address for Google. He typed in the word 'Bardulf meaning' and hit enter.

When the results came up, Sam stared at his computer in shock before exclaiming, "I knew it!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't stand a chance with Cas now." He paused. "I need a drink." He wondered if Dean was thinking the same thing.

As if his thoughts summoned his brother to the door, there was a knock. "Sammy, come on. Tear yourself from your My Little Pony collection and let's go out. We need a drink. Just saw Cas and he wants one too."

Sam smiled and headed towards the door. "Shut up."

"You coming?"

"I guess."

"Gonna tell him?"

"If it comes up."


	6. Chapter 6

"You know, having an famous brother is not all it is cracked up to be," Barty stated, during one of Sam's singing lessons a few days later.

"How so?"

"Well, everyone wants to know what he is like. Whether he is single and are always wanting to know exactly who he's dating. Sometimes I think that people are only friends with me so I can get them to meet him but they don't like me for me."

"I like you. I mean, you're helping me out. I get to see the real you."

Barty smiled. "Thanks. And you're coming along great. You have the makings of a real star."

Sam sighed. "Speaking of your brother..."

"Oh here we go."

"No, I don't want you to get me to meet him or anything. In fact, I have my suspicions on who he is."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I believe he's undercover at the moment... and actually goes here."

"And how did you work that out?"

"It wasn't hard. All the clues just fell into place."

"At least someone has brains. And before you ask, I did know."

"I kinda got that."

Barty smirked. "So are you going to confront him? Tell him you know."

"Yeah. I can see why he did it. Especially since you said that everyone would be up in his business if he went as himself."

"True. And while you're there are you going to tell Cas about your feelings for him?"

"I don't stand a chance. Not with him in the way."

Barty sighed. "He might surprise you."

"But..."

"No buts, just tell Cas. This is why you're doing these lessons, right?"

"Right."

"Well, get to it then."

"What if he doesn't like me in that way? What if I'm not good enough? What if he prefers him or Dean to me?"

"Don't waste your time with 'what ifs'. Go out there, seize the moment. If he rejects you then you'll have your answer. Not that I think he will but don't quote me on that."

"You know, you're quite sweet once I got to see the real you."

Barty groaned. "I'm not sweet. I'm the opposite of sweet."

"You're a big softie."

"Am not."

"You're a big squishy marshmallow under that gruff exterior."

"Sam..."

"Okay, I won't call you a marshmallow."

"Especially not in front of my brother."

"Or Dean."

Barty blushed and ducked his head. Sam noticed his reaction. "Oh my God, you have feelings for Dean!" he exclaimed.

"Shh, keep it down, you overgrown puppy. I don't want anyone to hear."

"Why not? I know for a fact that Dean likes you. He won't stop raving about you."

"Really, does he like me for me, or is he just attracted to the idea of me?"

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"I can be myself around you, Cas," Bardulf stated, sitting back on his bed at the same time Sam was with Barty. The red head had gotten his hands on a flamingo fedora somehow and he wore it at every opportunity he could. He dodged the questions on how he got his hands on the eccentric headwear. However, the fact that Zeb kept trying to grab the hat gave Cas a clue on who it really belonged to. "You and a few others. I get to be myself at work. I don't need to put on the act. It's making me tired. I wish I never started what began as a prank. An undercover role. I have to watch myself around people and now Barty is here, I'm finding it more difficult to remember to change my accent."

"I see. Have you given thought to just dropping the act and being yourself, James?"

"Yep. I want to do it soon. Before the end of the year." Bardulf smiled. "I want to let loose. Tell people what I really think. I want to rock out, play my guitar at high decibles, wear my normal clothes, not wear these stupid glasses which I don't even need and keep sliding down." He took off said glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Cas listened to Bardlf carefully. "And you didn't let loose when you yelled at Britney the other day?"

"Well, she deserved it. Playing Celine Dion at all hours of the night, keeping me awake and then having the gall to complain at five thirty because my alarm 'interrrupted her beauty sleep'," he said in a mocking tone. "I hadn't even had my coffee yet."

"Perhaps if you hadn't delierately put your alarm right by her wall, she might not have complained."

Bardulf shrugged. "She would've found something to complain about. And who says it was deliberate?" He changed the subject quickly. "So, do you think 'Operation Jealousy' is working?"

Cas hesitated. "I do not know. Sam seems to be enamoured of Barty. Maybe I should forget the whole thing and just like someone else."

"Mmhm, like who?"

"You."

"Wait! Hold the phone, Cas. I like you an' all and I can be relaxed around you but I like Dean. I don't think he likes me though. Or at least this version of me."

Cas looked dejected. "I see."

Bardulf placed a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Don't worry. I can see it all working out for you. I've been watching you two. Sam isn't as subtle as he thinks."

Cas looked hopeful. "You think...?"

"Yeah. If he doesn't man up and tell you that he likes you, I'll just get Darcy to taser him until he does. She did say she was going to be your taser wielding cupid, although according to you, with more clothes." Bardulf sighed. "Or you could tell him how you feel about him. I'm sick of this romantic comedy that I appear to have found myself in."

Cas reached over and awkwardly patted Bardulf on the shoulder. "I have no idea what to say to that."

"Thanks Cas. Why don't you just tell him? Get everything out in the open."

"If I tell Sam, you will have to tell Dean."

"Oh no. Dean will hate me. I've been lying to him, and everyone else, for ages. He will never forgive me."

Cas paused. "I might have accidentally let slip to Dean that Bardulf isn't your first name."

"Oh hell. Well, what's done is done, I suppose." Bardulf sighed. "It won't take long for him to put two and two together and work out my identity. Dean is smarter than he lets on."

"Very true." Cas tilted his head. "How did you acquire that hat?"

Bardulf flushed. "Secret."

"Is it Zeb's? Is that why he keeps trying to get a hold of it?"

Bardulf smiled slyly. "Maybe."

"I take that as a yes."

"At least it's not a fez. Anyway, back to you and Sam. Are you ever going to tell him? Or am I going to bang your heads together to knock some sense into you two? And you know I would too."

"Yes. Especially with who you are."

Bardulf smiled mysteriously. "Now, don't tell all my secrets. Not before I tell them if I so wish."


	7. Chapter 7

"Well, I'll be damned," a British accented voice said, startling Mr Willis from his teaching of Hamlet in the next English lesson. "James Willis, as I live and breathe." Ah, so Mr Willis' first name was James as J Brightwolf had guessed.

"Robert Phillips, what the hell are you doing here?" Mr Willis asked, obviously recognising the voice. "Are you following me?"

"Teaching. You're now looking at the new Drama teacher."

"Well, that's great. I mean having a familiar face that gets all my Brit slang without using a translator." Mr Willis looked at Barty."Well, apart from two people in here. But why here?" Sam looked between Barty and Bardulf who were sitting on the tables next to him. Sam noticed Bardulf looked very tired and was leaning heavily on his desk. He made a mental note to confront Bardulf after the lesson.

"Why not? The Americans let you teach English? Aren't they worried that you might cause 'em to have an abundance of 'u's in their spellings?"

"They like me. And there's a new thing called Google Spellcheck which I strongly advise my students to use."

"I bet. Have you shown them 'The Wall' yet?"

"Not yet. Think I should?" Mr Willis asked, a mischievous look coming to his face.

"I'm surprised you haven't yet. Especially considering that you've shown it to your classes back in England."

Bardulf perked up. "The wall? As in Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', sir?" he asked excitedly. "Are you gonna show it soon, sir?"

"Of course. Should've known that would perk yo up and not make you so grouchy, Oscar. Maybe next lesson."

"My name is not Oscar, sir."

"No, but you are grouchy. Hence your nickname of 'Oscar'."

Mr Willis looked at Mr Phillips. "He's a massive Pink Floyd fan. Can't tell you how I know it but he knows."

"Okay, if you say so." Mr Phillips said.

"Yeah, I do. Maybe both of us could arrange to do a musical based on 'The Wall'. It'd be interesting."

"It'd make a change from the usual school play." Mr Philips commented.

"I already have someone in mind to play Pink if we go ahead," Mr Willis commented. "He already knows the lyrics to all the songs."

"Without auditioning? How do you know he'd be up to snuff?"

"I do. But before we reveal too many secrets, let's change the subject. How is everyone back there?"

"Oh same old. Erin still doesn't like going to the girls' toilets on her own."

"Well, after that incident, I'm not surprised. Is Jo still there?"

"Yeah. Still teaching Gym. She's married now. Remember when she and a certain person had a thing?"

"I think He had a thing with everyone. You know what he was like."

"Yeah. You seen James lately?"

"I did indeed. Just spoke to him a little while ago in fact. Did you know, he's a rock star now. Goes by the name of 'J Brightwolf'?" Mr Willis stated with a significant look towards Mr Phillips.

"Oh? Oh! So that's why..."

Sam looked at Bardulf, who seemed to be lost in thought, either that or he had now fallen asleep, and smiled.

"That's a change. I seem to remember he used to suffer from terrible stage fright." Mr Phillips grinned. "So tell me what it's like working over here on the other side of the pond where they have an allergy to 'u' in certain words."

"Well, it's interesting. I know that there are various cupid plans flying around to try and set certain people up but I choose not to pry for details." Mr Willis looked over at Sam and Cas and gave them a small smile. Sam looked down at the table. Does everyone know about his feelings for Cas? Except for Cas himself? "It's a Shakespearian play in the making, I think. Very Much Ado About Nothing, if you catch my drift."

"I see."

Sam looked up, looked over at Bardulf to see how he was taking this detail and noticed that Bardulf's head had slipped down onto the desk. So he had fallen asleep then. Exhaustion had finally caught up with him.

Barty turned to face Sam then looked at Bardulf and frowned, as Bardulf started to softly snore. Barty bent down, reached into his bag, pulled out an ipod. He placed the hedphones over Bardulf's ears and turned the ipod volume up to maximum and pressed play, blasting Bardulf's ears with what sounded like to Sam like the 'Battlestar Galactica' theme tune.

Bardulf shot upright, lost his balance and fell off his chair with a loud curse in what sounded like Latin. He glared at Barty, who innocently stopped the music once he saw Bardulf was awake. he growled a few more curses at Barty, his tone of voice menacing as he sat back down on his chair.

"I do not believe that is physically possible," Cas spoke up from next to Sam. "And unless you want to start a few rumors, I don't think you should call him that."

"I'll find a way," Bardulf muttered, leaning his head on the desk. "Just tell him," he added sleepily. "Tell him already. And that is most definitely what he is..."

"Not that. Unless there's something you aren't telling me." Cas said, not really expecting a reply.

Mr Willis finally looked over. "Am I boring him?"

"No sir. Think he's just tired."

Mr Willis sighed. "Dean, Barty, take him to bed. Make sure he's rested. He looks like he needs it."

"But sir, not on a first date," Dean protested, but obediently moved to stand on one side of Bardulf before trying to haul Bardulf to his feet. "Come on, Dude. Up and at 'em." He grunted as Bardulf leaned heavily against him, as he wrapped Bardulf's arm around his shoulders. "For a skinny dude, you sure weigh a lot. What do you eat? The last time I had to support someone this heavy was when Sammy got drunk," he muttered, loud enough for Sam and Barty to hear. "Barty, can you grab his other side?"

Sam and Cas shared a look as Barty moved to Bardulf's other side. Sam realized that he would be alone with Cas without Dean or Barty as a buffer.

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother," Barty sang lowly, obviously finding a way to get that quote in somehow.

"Dude, not the time to burst into song," Dean grunted as he shifted Bardulf's weight against him.

"Just a minute, I'll slip something on," Bardulf muttered, loud enough for Sam to hear. "Water the flowers," he drawled in a Scottish accented voice. "Say 'hi there' to my bad body double. Everyone loves twins."

Sam saw Barty roll his eyes. "Damn, he's started talking in his sleep. Dean, let's hurry and get him into bed before he gets even more random." He looked over at Bardulf who had rested his head against Dean's shoulder. "This is the last time I'm hauling your arse to bed. Next time I'm just going to shove a flask of coffee under your nose."

"Where's the mop? I want to whack a certain annoying person with it," Bardulf muttered, his sleepy mumblings causing Barty to stifle a chuckle.

"Yeah, I don't think I want to know what is going on in that head of his," Dean replied, shifting Bardulf slightly. "Why is he speaking in a Scottish accent in his sleep?"

"Who does? Who knows?" Barty answered, evasively. "Maybe he thinks it's sexy?"

"Won't be long, Sammy," Dean promised as he half carried, half dragged Bardulf out the classroom door. "And it is quite sexy, but don't tell him I said that."

"Your secret's safe with me."

Sam made eye-contact with Cas and they awkwardly turned away from each other and looked down at their books, not daring to look at each other. 'Damn it. He hates me. He won't even look at me. How the hell am I going to handle this?'

*~*~*~*~*

 

The next time Sam saw Dean was at dinner. He walked in the dining hall, looking ruffled and tired like he had just woken up. "Dean, where were you? It was so awkward between myself and Cas the last few lessons."

"Sorry, Sammy. It's just that when we took him up to his room, he grabbed a hold of us and dragged us on the bed with him. Dude was like a freaking boa constrictor. Then I guess we kinda fell asleep too. It was more comfortable on top of it than under it. Woke up not too long ago."

Sam hid a smile. "Sounds like you had fun."

"Sounds like you didn't. Dude, he's your roommate and you can't say three freaking words to him. Did not even a 'I want to bone you' come out of your mouth at any point?" Dean sighed. "How are we even related?"

"Guess they must've found you under a bush or something because I've been asking myself the same question." Sam retorted.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Dean smiled secretively. "You know, it's strange that both Bardulf and J Brightwolf have the same first name and they both know Barty. And then there's Mr Willis as well." He shakes his head. "Nah, it's a crazy thought. Cas would've said. So would Barty."

Sam wondered if Dean had come to the same conclusion as he had but there was no way of asking him in case Dean hadn't figured it out yet. "Yeah. Well, it is a pretty common name."

"Mm." Dean paused in his eating. "How's things going on your end?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dude, it's been ages since you told me your feelings. Why haven't you said anything yet?"

"It never came up."

"Dude, you were in the classroom with him, without distractions. How the hell didn't you tell him?"


	8. Chapter 8

Sam managed to catch up with Bardulf the next morning. Bardulf looked very grumpy, even though he had slept the day before, and Sam had to wonder whether confronting the other teenager was a good idea. "Hey, wait up!" he called as he jogged to catch up with Bardulf, who seemed to be walking very quickly somewhere and he was carrying a case of some sort. It looked to Sam to be an instrument case but Sam wasn't entirely sure.

"What do you want, Sam?"

"I want to talk to you. In private."

"Well, you know where my room is. Why didn't you knock on my door like a sane person instead of lurking around in corridors like a serial killer waiting for their next victim?"

"I wouldn't be sure if you were awake or not. I didn't want to wake you. I know how grumpy you are." Sam paused. The serial killer comment hurt slightly due to the fact that they had been accused of being serial killers in the past. "I'm also not a serial killer. And I wouldn't kill you anyway. You're not worth it."

"Oh, how charitable of you." Bardulf started walking off. "I don't want to be insulted by you, Sam," he growled. "I'm having a very bad day and it's only six o'clock in the morning. I don't want to fight with you. Last time we fought, you nearly broke my glasses. And my nose."

Sam wondered if Bardulf's neighbour had contributed to his bad mood, with their Celine Dion playing ways, and wondered how he could ask without revealing that he had overheard that conversation. "James, wait!"

Bardulf halted in midstride and turned to face Sam. "What did you call me?" he asked in a voice that didn't betray what he was thinking.

"I called you James. It is your name, isn't it?"

"Who told you that?"

Sam didn't really want to drop Dean into it so he lied. "No one. I figured it out. You see I googled the meaning of Bardulf and I got a very interesting result." He paused. "It means 'Bright wolf' who happens to be the surname of the lead singer of one of my brother's favourite bands. I just switched your surname and first name around and I came up with 'J Brightwolf' J being short for James." He paused. "Mr Willis said in English that J Brightwolf's first name was James... And then all the pieces fell together."

"Doesn't mean anything. Just because my name means 'Brightwolf' doesn't mean I am him." Sam know that Bardulf was really grasping at straws now.

"You admitted to me that you are actually Scottish, like Barty. If you removed your glasses I'd bet you'd look a lot like Barty except with different hair colours."

Bardulf sighed and dragged Sam into the empty music room. He put down the case he was carrying, looked around, and removed his glasses. It was as Sam thought, he did look a lot like Barty. "Okay, you got me," he said in an accent which sounded slightly Scottish. "I am Barty's brother and my first name is James. His older identical twin brother in fact. You got it completely right." He looked worried. "I can't believe my disguise really worked. After all, who would think that the nerdy red head in glasses is in fact the lead singer of a rock band? All I did was put glasses on and styled my hair differently."

"And wear long sleeves all the time."

"That too."

"Does Cas know? can I tell Dean? I mean, Dean is going to find out very soon anyway. As soon as he and the rest of the class come in."

"Cas does know. I want to be the one who tells Dean. On my terms. I'm surprised that you didn't tell Dean what you figured out straight away."

"Wasn't my secret to tell. Dean won't like that I knew and didn't tell him."

"Dean will have to deal."

"Why the undercover Hannah Montana work anyway?"

"I can't believe you made that reference." Bardulf shook his head in disbelief. "I am not Miley Cyrus."

"It's true. Even though you're more James Hetfield than Miley Cyrus."

"That's better. I would much rather being compared to the guitarist of Metallica than some Disney Channel person any day. I wanted to see if people would like me for me, if I was just this random person... but it failed."

"Cas likes you. Darcy likes you. The ones you work with like you."

Bardulf smiled. "No one else does. You don't like me. In fact, I think you hate me."

"That's because you're quiet and don't say much. If you let out your true personality out, they'd be flocking to you." Sam paused. "No, you hate me. You keep glaring at me during class."

"You think so?"

Sam smiled slyly. "I bet Dean would love you if you did. I mean, he already admires the way you, J Brightwolf you, sings, play the guitar and I think I read somewhere that you can play the drums as well. I think he referred to it as riding the notes hard and putting them away wet." He paused, remembering a conversation he and Dean had overheard while under Bardulf's bed. "I bet that's how Mr Willis found out you were a Pink Floyd fan. I bet he heard you playing and singing."

"Unfortunately, yes." Bardulf suddenly gave Sam a look. "You know, Sam, Barty told me that he's been giving you singing lessons. Any particular reason why?"

Sam looked stunned, not wanting to blurt out his feelings for Cas. "Uh no. I just wanted to learn how to sing in tune. You know, so I don't sound terrible if I decide to rock out to Bon Jovi..." Sam frowned, not believing he just admitted to liking Bon Jovi, especially to Bardulf of all people.

"Uh huh. Well, I hear you're coming along nicely." Bardulf must have read Sam's face correctly as he mischievously added, "and I happen to like Bon Jovi. I like most types of music."

"Except Celine Dion."

"Especially late at night. When my neighbour decides to play it loudly when I'm trying to sleep."

"Yeah, that'd put a dampener on things. Is that why you're so grouchy in the mornings?"

"Uh huh."

"I heard you yelling at Britney the other day."

"Yeah, well, she was getting on my last nerve."

"She's been getting on everyone's last nerve lately. Dean will despair that you like Bon Jovi."

"Dean will have to deal with the fact that I like most types of music. You know, I think I might have feelings for him. I really like him," Bardulf blurted out, then looked stunned at his admission.

Sam's mind automatically went to Cas after Bardulf's statement and felt crushed and he thought he might have actually heard his heart break in two pieces. "Well, I hope you two will be happy together."

"Uh, thanks. Even though he doesn't know me. I mean, the real me. He doesn't know my secrets."

"But you said he knows."

"Not unless you told him. But you said you didn't."

"Huh?"

Bardulf sighed and turned his attention to the music sheet in front of him. "I think we're having two conversations here. Who are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and Cas."

"Cas and I are just friends."

"I don't believe you," Sam stated, surprising Bardulf, who looked up from his music sheet. "I don't hate you, you hate me. I don't know you. I just hate that I have to see you and Cas together."

"And now we're getting to the root of the matter. I don't hate you either."

"I know. I just annoy you when I kick your chair with my freakishly long legs." Sam realised what he had just blurted out and hoped that Bardulf didn't notice his slip.

Bardulf frowned. "I never told you that. How did you know that?"

"Uh, lucky guess. Those looks you shoot me during class are a big clue. If looks could kill..."

"Mmhm, if you say so. Anyway back to the subject in hand, why didn't you just tell Cas that you don't want to see him with someone else? Why the hell are you dating Barty if you like someone else? Barty of all people? You could do much better."

"I get on well with Barty. He's helped me a lot."

"What? Breaking the law?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. So why didn't you tell Cas?"

"I couldn't. I mean, i know you have feelings for him and... I don't want to jeopardize that." Sam sighed. "What chance do I have against you? You're this big rock star and I'm nobody."

"Sam, you're not nobody. You're you. You have something I don't have."

"What's that?"

"Anonymity. You don't have everyone on your case about who you're dating or where you're going. Why do you think I went undercover? You have a big heart and... you've known Cas longer than I have."

"It hurts when I see you two together."

"We're not into each other like that. Why do you think I was teaching him to dance?"

"What? When?"

"When you came in and thought that something was going on between us. I was helping Cas to learn to dance so that you wouldn't be dancing with a statue."

"You knew?"

"Of course I did. You're not exactly subtle about your feelings for him. Anyone with brain cells could see it." Bardulf paused and took a deep breath before he spoke again, this time with a slightly Scottish accent. His voice had deepened and Sam realised that he was speaking with his normal voice. "Then you ran off and the next thing I know, you're dating Barty. Doesn't do Cas any favours."

"You have feelings for Cas. You told me yourself."

"I was speaking about Dean."

"My brother, Dean?"

"Duh. You know any other Dean?"

"You're cheating on Cas with my brother."

"No, because Cas and I aren't actually dating as I told you five seconds ago and before that, about twenty seconds ago. Wash your ears out."

"So, you were teaching Cas to dance so he could dance with me and I got the wrong end of the stick?"

"Now you're getting it. I would give you a gold star but unfortunately I'm all out."

"Your rock star personality is really sassy, you know. I kinda miss the shy and retiring version of you. I don't miss your deadly glares though."

"This is my actual personality. The shy version is just an act. Thought you realised that when you were chatting to me on Yahoo Messenger." Bardulf smirked.

"Had to come from somewhere. Yeah, well, I didn't know it was you I was chatting to then."

"Oh come on. I thought it would be pretty obvious to everyone that Barty and I had history. Especially since I was writing notes to Barty when he first got here."

"True but no one saw the notes."

"You did." Sam looked stunned as he didn't know that Bardulf had seen him pick up the note that they exchanged in class.

"You pranked Barty too. During chat before you came on yourself."

"Yeah. It did look like he was cybering. He wouldn't tell me who he was chatting to at first..." Bardulf gave Sam a look. "Don't try and dodge the subject, Sam. I'm not one of the bleached blonde bimbos that also grace this school. I do have at least two braincells to rub together, as do you, Dean and Cas. And I knew long before you told me, without mentioning any names, by the way. Now that we've established that I'm not dating Cas, you and Barty are dating, and that I have feelings for Dean. Sounds like something off Jerry Springer and I'm getting a headache," Bardulf said, putting his glasses back on and crossing his arms.

"I feel like an idiot. Dean advised that I should date Barty to make Cas jealous and... did it work?"

Bardulf snorted. "All too well."

"Damn. Well, I hope you and Barty don't fight over Dean. I mean, Dean would love that. Especially if you two were mud wrestling. Especially since he has love for your alter-ego. And he does like twins."

"I kinda got that from our chat session." Bardulf smirked, a expression that made him look even more devious. "Dean couldn't handle both myself and Barty."

"So you say."

"I do. I know what we're like. Well, not together, you know, but I know what I'm like and I've heard Barty can be very wild so..." Bardulf grinned at Sam. "You dodged a bullet there. Barty would've eaten you alive. Not in a literal way though..."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"Yeah. Good idea. Pretend I never said that."

"It never happened. Suppose I better start calling you James then."

"If you want. I've kinda gotten used to people calling me by an approximation of my middle name though."

"Which is?"

"Not telling. I'm allowed some secrets." Bardulf gave Sam a look over his glasses. "What you need to do is next time you see Cas is just kiss him already."

"You think that would work?"

"Yeah."

"If you're wrong?"

"I'm not wrong. When he comes in here, just grab him and snog him." Bardulf was using British slang. Didn't snog mean have sex with? Oh yeah, he was definitely screwing with Sam.

"In public? Isn't that moving a bit fast?"

"I said snog, which in American speak means kiss, not shag, which is what you're possibly thinking I said and I'm going to give you a British slang dictionary for Christmas, and at the pace you two've been going, an iceberg is moving faster."

"Oh. You're screwing with me, aren't you?"

There was a pause as Bardulf processed Sam's words. "I'm guessing you don't mean literally."

"No." Sam said, giving Bardulf a look. "Are you screwing with me? In the non literal sense."

"No, well, yes. You and Cas kiss and romantic music will play, Hell, I'll write the song myself and call it 'The Obliviousness of Sam and Cas', and the curtain will go down on this whole thing that is totally straight out of a Shakespeare comedy."

"You wouldn't dare," Sam stated, seeing Barty coming in with a guitar case in one hand and an amp in the other.

"Wouldn't dare what?" Barty asked, setting down his case.

"Sam thinks I wouldn't write a song titled 'The Obliviousness of Sam and Cas' and play it."

"He would. In fact, don't dare him because he will." Barty smirked. "I see you found out about James then." He indicated the guitar case in front of Bardulf. "So you're ready to shed your disguise then?"

"Uh huh," Bardulf replied, bending down and opening the case, pulling out a sleek black electric guitar. He plugged the guitar into the amp at his feet and plugged it in. He readied his pick and strummed a few chords on the guitar.

"You know, J, we haven't played together for a long time," Barty commented, moving towards the drum kit set up. He picked up the drumsticks and sat down on the stool behind the drums. "Remember how?" He tapped out a rhythm on the drums.

Bardulf strummed a tune Sam recognized as the opening bars of 'Highway to Hell'. "Sam, you may want to turn my amp up," Bardulf said with a mischievous grin. "Give everyone a wake up call." He suddenly smirked. "Hey, Barty, I had a better idea. Make sure everyone hears us."

"Oh, do tell."

Bardulf didn't answer straight away but he pointed to the speaker in the room. "Shall we?"

"I like the way you think, J."

*~*~*~*~*~

 

"I'm not sure that this is a good idea," Sam protested as Bardulf dragged him along the corridor with a firm grip on his elbow, and he held the cymbals from the drum kit that was in Bardulf's room along with a large case. In his other hand, he held the amp to the guitar that Bardulf had slung across his chest.

"Don't be like that, Sam," Bardulf said with an evil smile that made Sam nervous. "It's time that the students get a morning wake up call from J Brightwolf and his brother. It's almost time for our daily radio wake up call. Or if you're not already up like us." He pulled to a halt. "You okay back there, Barty?"

"Oh, yeah," Barty muttered, carrying six large cases. He sighed in relief when Bardulf let go of Sam's elbow and took half of the cases.

"Sam, don't think of running off, we will catch you," Bardulf warned. "Don't you want to help us. We'll help you too."

"I won't. Not as if I can run far with all this," Sam muttered as they stopped in front of the radio booth. He frowned when Darcy's voice spoke over the speakers introducing herself.

Bardulf used a foot to knock on the door, ignoring the on air lights. "Darcy? It's me."

"Just hang on, my friend wants to talk to me," Darcy said over the speaker. "Even though, I'm on air at the moment. Here's the first song." The first song came over the speakers which Sam recognized as 'Hello, I Love You' by the Doors.

"You just came on," Barty interjected as she opened the door. "How about we give them a real wake up call?"

Darcy smiled. "So, James, finally decided to shed the secret identity?"

"Yeah. Sam needs our help declaring his feelings for someone..."

"It wouldn't happen to be a certain person named Cas, would it?"

Sam groaned. "Does everyone know?" He took a step back from Darcy. "Please don't tazer me."

"I won't. Seeing as you're willing to do this for him."

"So can we...?" Barty asked, giving Darcy a pleading look.

"Sure. Wake them up! Give 'em hell."

"Thanks, Darcy. I owe you big time." Sam stated with a smile.

The song came to an end and Darcy took her place at the microphone again. "And that was 'Hello, I Love You' by The Doors. Well, for those who just tuned in, I've been invaded by a few people. Not telling you who they are at the moment. So call in with your guesses." She played the next song which Sam recognized as 'Pinball Wizard' by The Who.

"We better set this all up," Barty suggested as he opened the cases. "James, are you going to change?"

"In front of Darcy?" Sam questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Bardulf shrugged and set down his guitar and cases. "Why not?" Bardulf handed Sam his glasses, pulled off his sweater, accidentally pulling his t-shirt up as well, exposing a pale flat stomach. He pulled his t-shirt down, a black t-shirt with 'Guns and Roses: Appetite For Destruction' emblazoned across the front and frowned at Sam, his red hair in disarray. "Okay?"

"Shouldn't your pants be a bit tighter?" Darcy commented.

"Leather chafes in this weather. But if you insist..." Bardulf said. "Sam? Let's get you something to wear. It's a Rock Stars only club. Gotta wear something tight to show off that awesome body you have under those clothes." He looked over to Barty. "Barty?"

"Hm? Oh yeah." Barty dug into one of his bags and threw a pair of pants at Bardulf and then threw a pair at Sam. "For some reason, the costumer thought I said I was six foot four so these are too big for me. Should fit you though, Sam."

"My favourite ones!" Bardulf said happily. "I missed these."

"Yeah, can tell you missed your stripper trousers," Barty muttered.

"C'mon, Sam, let's get changed in the bathroom," Bardulf said. "Unless you want to give Darcy a free show."

"I don't mind. Hell, I'll even stuff dollar bills in your underwear if you want," Darcy replied with an evil grin on her face.

Bardulf winked at Darcy. "Only on weekends, sweetheart."

Sam felt his face heat up as her eyes raked over his body. "Bathroom sounds like a good idea."

Bardulf followed Sam to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. "Sam, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No, I have to do. I want it all out there."

"Okay, it's your call. So are you going to change out here or in a cubicle?"

Sam watched as Bardulf slowly peeled off his t-shirt, exposing the pale skin below. He noticed there were scars all over his chest and wondered at them. Of course, his own skin was covered in scars so he knew that he might not want to know the story behind all of them.

Bardulf noticed Sam staring at him. "Car accident," he stated plainly as he undid his pants and slid them down his hips, exposing his back.

Sam moved to get a better look at Bardulf's back. A large wing tattoo covered both Bardulf's shoulder blades and back, down past his dark green boxers and down both his legs to his ankles. Sam noticed that the feathers were very detailed in a dark red with gold tips. Sam half expected the wings to come to life at any moment and flare out at his sides. Sam remembered that Cas also had a tattoo, as a reminder of his former angel self, although not as large and wondered what that signified for Bardulf.

"When you've quite finished staring..."

Sam snapped back to reality and blushed. He had been caught staring at the other teenager, who wasn't Cas. "Sorry. Were you an angel?"

"What gave you that idea? Just because I have wings tattooed on my back, doesn't mean I was ever an angel."

"Sorry."

"Are you getting changed or not?"

"Yeah." Sam quickly undressed, unmindful of his scars. He felt that the other teenager was openly staring at his body. "What?"

"I... I was right. You do have a great body." Bardulf moved closer to Sam. "Gunshot wound, stab wound, bite mark and numerous others."

"Uh, thanks. How do you know?"

Bardulf smiled mysteriously. "Cas would love your body..." Bardulf turned away suddenly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been ogling you like a prime cut of beef. Not when I'm trying to be a cupid to get you and Cas together." He pulled on his tight leather pants, which had thin black ribbons on each leg and adjusted his underwear so there was no visible panty line. "Um, Sam, although I'm fairly flexible, once you're dressed, could you lace me up? Just pretend it's a corset."

Sam blushed and pulled on the pants that Barty gave him. His underwear bunched uncomfortably. "Uh."

Bardulf rolled his eyes. "You're supposed to undo the zips before pulling it on." He demonstrated by unzipping said zips that reached from the top of the pants to halfway down his thighs. He grabbed hold of Sam's underwear and tugged them down so they were more comfortable and didn't bunch, before zipping them back up. "Better?"

Sam blushed. "Yeah."

"I've done it for the others. You get used to it. Can you lace me up please?"

Sam bent down carefully, not wanting to rip the pants he was wearing. He pulled on the ribbons so they were sitting snug against Bardulf's leg. It was really like tying a corset, Sam reflected as he tied off one leg in a bow. Bardulf turned so Sam could do the same to his other leg. He finished and stood up, with a steadying hand from Bardulf.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Sam took a look at Bardulf, who was pulling on what looked to be a netted top. His mind popped to Cas wearing said outfit.

"Are you imagining Cas in my outfit? Nice image."

Damn, did Bardulf read his mind? Sam shook off the feeling and grinned at Bardulf, pulling on a tight black t-shirt, which showed off his muscles. "Come on, Barbarella," Sam said, not sure if Bardulf would even get the reference.

"Are we going to find Durand Durand?" Bardulf questioned with a smirk. "It's a classic."

"Dean would love you. That's one of his favorite movies."

"Course it is. It has Jane Fonda in it."

Sam shook his head in amusement as he opened the door. "I thought you liked Dean."

"If you know anything about me you should know that I don't care whether you are male, female or alien..."

Sam shook off the alien comment, thinking that Bardulf was just making a point. "Mm, same here, I guess." He grinned. "So what's your view on tentacles?"

"Why? Does Dean or Cas have tentacles that they keep hidden?"

"No! Just wondered." Sam noticed that Bardulf was actually about Dean's height. "Huh, never noticed how tall you were before. Must be the way you're standing."

Bardulf raised an eyebrow. "I'm not as tall as you with your freakishly long legs."

"But you're not exactly short either."

"Did you sleep in a gro bag when you were younger to get so tall?"

"A what?"

"It's soil which comes in a large bag of some sort... For growing tomatoes," Bardulf pronounced the word as toe-mah-toe which betrayed his Scottish roots. "I mean, not that I grow the damn things or whatever but I do see 'em in shops across the pond. Maybe I should take it up."

Sam shook his head. Bardulf, to his surprise, was a bit of a rambler. "Dude, you're rambling."

"I am. Guess I've been hanging around... someone too long. But hey, at least I'm talking at a speed you can understand, right?"

"Huh?"

"WellIcouldbetalkingatwarpspeedwhichwouldreallybehardtounderstandunlessyouhaverecordingequpimenttoslowitdowntoanormalspeedamIright?" Bardulf stated, suddenly speeding up his speech until all the words blended together into one word.

"Uh, could you repeat that but at a speed of thirty three and a third please?" Sam said, looking confused.

Bardulf shook his head. "Sorry." He didn't look sorry though. "Anyway, let's get you and Cas together to live happily ever after."

"This isn't Disney."

"No comment." Bardulf seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh.

"You weren't just picturing me in a Disney Princess outfit, were you?"

"I didn't say it. You did." Bardulf grabbed a hold of Sam's arm in a surprisingly tight grip. "Come on. Stop stalling." He smiled wickedly. "Let's show them what we're made of, eh?"


	9. Chapter 9

"Dean, have you seen Sam this morning?" Cas questioned as he sat down next to Dean in the dining hall. "He was gone when I woke up this morning."

Dean shook his head as he tucked into his breakfast. "No, Cas, sorry. He was acting weird last night though. He said he had a brainwave or something like that..."

The speakers crackled to life and Darcy's voice rang out introducing herself. There was the faint sound of someone knocking on a door. "Just hang on, my friend wants to talk to me," Darcy said over the speaker. "Even though, I'm on air at the moment. Here's the first song."

Cas noticed the smile on Dean's face as the song began. "I take it you like this song."

"Can't go wrong with the Doors."

"I don't understand."

"It's a band."

"Oh."

They listened in silence for the rest of the song. Cas found himself tapping his foot as he imagined saying the lyrics of the song to Sam and Sam's reaction to it.

"And that was 'Hello, I Love You' by The Doors. Well, for those who just tuned in, I've been invaded by a few people. Not telling you who they are at the moment. As usual, call in with your requests." She played the next song which Dean recognised as 'Pinball Wizard' by The Who and said as much.

"Chick has good taste in tunes," Dean commented. "I bet I know where Sam ended up."

"You think he is one of the people that has 'invaded' Darcy?"

"Well, everyone else is here. If we take stock of who's here and who isn't, I bet we'll get who has visited Darcy."

"I see and you think Barty and... James are the other two. They aren't here so..."

"I guess. The question is what does those two want with Sammy?"

"And that was Pinball Wizard by the Who. Our next song is... Holy Mother of God! Are you really going to wear that?!" Darcy's next comment caused Dean and Cas to perk up. "Should I get the dollar bills ready? Or do you just save it for the weekend?"

A voice that Dean and Cas recognised as Barty spoke up next. "Wow! You two are freaking hot... Now kiss and make up." There was a pause. "Did he help you with your underwear?"

"I laced him up," Sam said. "He said he wasn't flexible enough to do it himself."

Cas frowned as he wondered what Bardulf would need laced up. The comment about Sam's underwear was unsettling.

"Barty..." A voice that they recognised as belonging to Bardulf, even though his voice seemed deeper and somewhat familiar to Dean, growled out. "Don't forget why we are here. But I can agree with him on one thing, you do look hot, Sam."

"Thanks, you too. Uh, should someone poke Darcy as she seems to be in shock?"

"I'm awake. I'm very much awake. Shame you are into guys, Sam, because I would totally hit that."

"I'm bisexual," Sam admitted, sounding embarrassed. "I don't think it ever came up before."

"Well, something definitely came up," Barty stated, sounding like he was leering at Sam.

"Hell, I'd hit it," Bardulf said, sounding impressed. "Especially while you're wearing that, Sam. But I don't think the one you have your eyes on would like that."

Cas wondered who Bardulf meant and tilted his head to the side as he tried to figure out who was the object of Sam's affections.

"Thanks."

"One word," Barty said, "threesome. Or orgy. Your pick. Everyone's a winner." There was a long pause. "Uh, guys, we are still on air," Barty stated. "I mean, I think that's what the little red light means, anyway."

"We are? Oh crap!" Darcy sounded panicked. "Quick, someone pick something."

"Sam's song would be a certain Nine Inch Nails song, especially directed towards his beloved," Barty commented.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Sam stated

Cas tilted his head, wondering who exactly Barty meant as 'beloved' and which song he was talking about. He looked to Dean, who quickly hid an amused smile. Yes, Dean knew who they were referring to. Unfortunately Dean was too stubborn to reveal the identity of said person, uinless of course, he could be bribed with pie.

"Have you been playing 'Closer' again, Bro," Bardulf asked, sounding amused.

"What do you suppose Dean's song would be while shagging?"

"Does shagging mean what I think it means?" Dean questioned.

"If you're referring to sexual intercourse, then yes, it does mean that."

"Dude! Seriously?" Sam exclaimed, sounded like he didn't want to hear the answer to Barty's question.

Cas was not sure if he wanted to hear the reply either.

"Dean's song would be 'You Shook Me All Night Long'."

"Good song."

"Or Pour Some Sugar On Me."

"Another good choice."

There was a rattling sound. "Come over here and help Darcy pick out a song already. Anything to stop you discussing my brother's sex life. Stop doing that. Both of you."

"Sorry, Sam. We'll behave now."

"How about this?" Bardulf said, sounding amused.

"Perfect."

"You wouldn't," Sam said sounding embarrassed. "You did. You bastards."

The song started, drowning out either Bardulf's or Barty's retort.

Dean hid a smile into his coffee cup at the song choice.

Cas tilted his head. "Dean, why are they comparing this woman to an angel. If they knew what angels are really like they wouldn't do that."

"It's just a song, Cas. They haven't met a real angel so don't get your boxers in a bunch."

Cas glared at Dean. "I am well aware of that, Dean."

"Okay. Sheesh! Who pissed in your cereal this morning?"

"No one. There was no urine present in my breakfast."

"It's a saying, Cas."

The speaker crackled to life again and they could hear Sam talking in an incredulous voice. "Seriously? That's your middle name?"

"Yes... Thank you, Barty for just blurting that out," Bardulf said, sounding very embarrassed.

"You started it. You told Sam my full first name and my middle name. Just repaying the favour. Don't stick your tongue out at me or I'll cut it off."

"Then I won't be able to talk or do anything else with my tongue," Bardulf said. "Everyone would mourn..."

Darcy suddenly laughed. "Just realized what your first name and middle name stand for, Barty. Is that a hint or something?"

"Of course."

"BJ by name, BJ is all he is good for... Uh, I mean, that I heard that somewhere. Not speaking from personal experience or anything. I mean, that would be... not my thing and uh, I'm digging myself into a hole now, aren't I?" Bardulf said hurriedly.

"Mmhmm, Don't worry, you'll always be remembered as the person who just told everyone that you heard I give..."

"We're on air again, aren't we?" Sam asked, sounding exasperated and slightly embarrassed.

There was the sound of loud cursing coming from the speaker in multiple languages coming from Bardulf. Barty retorted in the same language and they started bickering in said language.

Cas tilted his head even further. "I don't believe that is biologically possible... Or that." A flush grew across his face. "I believe you'd need an extra leg for that position."

"I don't think I wanna know," Dean said, putting a hand up as if to cover his eyes.

"Guys! I don't know what you just said, but you're disrupting my show."

"Sorry, Darcy." Barty sounded chastised. "Is that a threat or a promise, J?"

Dean looked at Cas. "Did Barty just call him, J?"

"That is the first initial of his first name."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Look, let's just get on with why we're here," Bardulf said, avoiding answering the question. There was the sound of someone banging on some drums in no particular rhythm.

"You're right."

"Course I'm right. I am the oldest of us two, Barty. Now who's the one sticking his tongue out?"

"I can't do this," Sam sounded nervous. "What if I'm terrible and I become a laughing stock?"

"You'll be fine," Bardulf stated, sounding sure of himself. "It's okay to feel nervous. I would say imagine your audience naked but I can see that that might become a problem."

"You had to go there, didn't you? Now I can't stop picturing him naked."

Cas wondered who the person in question was and he felt an irrational surge of jealousy bubble up inside of him.

"I can see that."

"Hell, we can all see that. Did you smuggle a snake in those pants?" Darcy asked. "Are you even wearing underwear?"

"Darcy!" Sam sounded shocked. "Yes, I am wearing underwear."

"Good. Our cousin Peter says that you have to wear underwear underneath as it doesn't let you 'breathe' otherwise," Barty injected. "And speaking from experience, it can cause rashes and..."

"Peter lives in Las Vegas, Barty. Land of dry and dusty. Also it can get damn hot during the day and cold at night. You get used to it after a while," Bardulf said, over the sounds of someone tuning a guitar. "And I'm going to tear my thoughts away from that... area before I say something else."

"Just how flexible are you, J?" Sam questioned, his thoughts obviously still in the gutter.

"Microphone check," Barty said interrupting the conversation before Bardulf could answer Sam, his voice amplified by an extra microphone.

"Well, you know, I've got a clean bill of health now so I can get in almost any position you want me to, Sam. Uh, that sounded so much better in my head," Bardulf commented. "Uh, microphone check, right?" There was the sound of something rustling.

"Right."

"Testing, testing, one two testing. How many here are pretty awesome? Will you raise your hand, please?" Bardulf said, his voice echoing around the room. "Oh, hello, bro. How long's it been since we've played together?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Bro? Why are they talking like they're best friends?"

"You want to air our dirty laundry out?"

"Not what I meant. Band? Instruments? Ring any bells? Or do you need me to conk you over the head with a cymbal?"

"Not the worst threat I've ever had from you. But no thanks. One concussion was more than enough."

"So you say. It's been ages. You sure you remember how to play?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Are you?" Barty asked, over the sounds of someone banging on some drums.

"Uh huh." There was a long pause.

"Hey, Darcy, isn't that one of Zeb's hats you're wearing?" Barty asked, sounding amused.

"No."

"Looks like a raspberry beret to me," Bardulf pointed out. "You know there's a song for that, don't you?"

"Don't you dare, James! Or I will tell them how you ended up wearing Zeb's flamingo fedora and how attached you are to it."

"If I recall correctly it involved a pair of very short shorts, a stripper pole and the song 'Wanted Dead or Alive'," Barty said with a laugh.

Dean looked over to Zeb, who was blushing a deep red and frowned.

"Fine. Whatever. I don't care," Bardulf said, over the sounds of someone strumming a guitar. "So are we going to do Sam first or are we gonna wake everyone up first?"

"And you say you're not kinky," Barty muttered. "Though if we did 'do' Sam first, everyone would soon be awake."

"You know what I meant, B," Bardulf said, sounding exasperated. "The threesome can come later," he added mischievously, making Dean choke on his coffee.

"Hey, am I not invited?" Darcy questioned, sounding miffed.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Sam asked. "I'm not Dean."

"Why are they saying my name?" Dean questioned. He choked again, this time on air when Barty added, "Dean can join in too."

"Only one person can peel these incredibly tight things off and he's currently not in this room."

"And you're saying that after you stole my mint, Sam?" Bardulf asked, sounding amused. "You could have just asked me for one and I would've given you it."

There was a chorus of "Huh?" coming from the speakers.

"I saw it in a movie," Sam said quietly.

"Yeah, and I know exactly which one," Bardulf commented, over what sounded like the opening riff to the song 'Should I Stay or Should I Go' playing. "Am I right?"

Cas frowned at Dean. "Is stealing mints a thing Sam does often?"

"No, I don't know why he did that. Unless he didn't want morning breath."

"Anyway, let's get away from the mint stealing puppy a minute and remember why we're here," Bardulf stated.

Sam's bitchface was audible through the speakers. "Says the person who's currently dressed like that..."

"Well, you're right. Besides I doubt your beloved would approve. Let's wake 'em up first before Sam does his thing."

"Hey everybody!" Bardulf said cheerfully. "I bet you're all wondering how we're gonna wake you up...Even if you're already awake..." He trailed off. "This is how. Hit it, B!"

Castiel frowned in confusion as the beat began. It sounded very familiar to Cas but he couldn't place from where he had heard it before.

Dean frowned. "Are they playing that live? In the radio station?" He grinned suddenly. "Awesome."

Cas listened to the tune and smiled when he heard singing coming from the speakers. Barty, he guessed. He looked at Dean, who seemed to mouthing the words to the song and frowned.

Dean must have decided to add a bit more rock to the song, complete with hand motions and he had moved to sit on the table.

Cas couldn't help but crack a smile at Dean's actions, especially when Dean pointed at his eyes and then out at the room at large. He then pointed upwards to the ceiling. He used his leg as a guitar as he mouthed the words to the song. Dean then stood up on the bench and spread his arms wide. He then seemed to realise what he was doing and jumped down, looking embarrassed. "You saw nothing," he muttered to Cas.

"I understand."

The song finished and Darcy's voice came back on. "I hope you enjoyed the song. Coming up after 'House on Fire' by The Boomtown Rats, is a very special treat."

Dean nodded his head as the song began. "I haven't heard this song since forever."

Cas tilted his head. "I did not know that this was your type of song. It doesn't have enough guitar and drums."

"Dude, it's called 'Punk Rock'. They also did 'I Don't Like Mondays' and various other songs."

Cas' head tilted even more so when the third verse began. "I don't understand. Why are they singing about a white angel? And why would said angel be hanging his halo around his waist?"

"It's just lyrics. You're over thinking again."

"And now with a very special song," were Darcy's first words when her voice faded back in. "is what you've all been waiting for. Take it away guys."

"Hit it." The opening tune began. A few minutes later a new voice began singing. The singer had a pleasant voice, Cas thought.

"Is that..?" Dean began. "Is that Sammy?" He raised his eyebrows. "Wow, he's in tune. He sounds good."

Cas listened to the lyrics as they seemed to be directed at someone. Someone who Sam loves, he realized. He tried to ignore the pit of jealousy that rose from within him as he listened to the song.

"Hey," Dean said, giving Cas a significant look. "Listen to the lyrics."

"I am listening."

"Then why do you look like a kitten that's lost its favourite toy?"

Cas huffed. "I am not a kitten."

"Listen very carefully to the lyrics."

"He is singing about someone he loves. Telling them how he feels via song."

"Yes. Now who does the subject of the song sound like?"

Cas listened very carefully to the song. At first he didn't get it and then suddenly it clicked. The subject of the song sounded a lot like him. "Me. It sounds like me."

"Finally! It is to you. Sam likes you. He likes you enough to tell you in a song."

"He does?"

"Yes. Now when he gets here, you've got to tell him that you feel the same way and then kiss."

Cas suddenly felt like he had his wings back and he could fly. "I will."

"Good." Dean changed the subject. "I wonder when he learned to sing like that."

"Perhaps you should ask him."

"I will."

The song ended on a crescendo. "Uh, I hope you liked it," Sam's voice said, sounding nervous. "That was a message to, well, I hope they know who they are."

"You sounded fantastic, Sam. Those singing lessons paid off," Bardulf said, sounding happy.

"Bloody awesome," Barty added. "Well done, my young Jedi Knight."

"That makes you Yoda."

"No, Obi Wan Kenobi. You're Yoda."

"Come on, you two Jedi Masters. We need to go and see what happens now," Sam said impatiently.

"Okay. Sam wants to see his snuggle-bunny. Darcy, can you look after the gear for us?"

"Sure. Go forth and smooch."

*~*~*~*~*

 

Sam, Barty and Bardulf made their way down to the dining hall. Sam stopped Bardulf with a hand on the arm. "What if he hated it? What if he likes me just as a friend?"

"Sam, stop worrying. Look, you poured your heart out to him. Declared your feelings for him, and you sounded really good too. There is a ninety nine point nine chance that he will sweep you off your whatever size feet you are and kiss you," Bardulf said.

"Yeah, Sam. As a famous singer once said, or sang, you gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done," Barty added, quoting the Gambler, of all songs.

"You got to know when to hold them," Bardulf sang, unable to help himself. When he sang, it was obvious who he was as he had a very distintive singing voice.

"When to hold 'em," Barty echoed.

"Know when to fold 'em."

"When to fold 'em."

"Know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done," both Bardulf and Barty sang. Sam had the feeling that was something was missing.

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

"I suddenly had the urge to ask if you wanted an ice cream to sing into," Sam stated, fighting a smile.

"Too early."

Sam suddenly had an attack of nerves as they walked closer to their destination. "I can't do it. Barty, give me your coat."

"Sorry, James has already got it."

Sam looked Bardulf over with his long leather trench coat covering his outfit. "You look like Peter Vincent's secret love child," he commented, before realising that was a very Dean thing to say. "Wait, is he a relation of yours?"

"Please, don't start those rumors," Bardulf replied, holding a hand up.

"Yep, Peter is our cousin, that's it." Barty grabbed Sam's hand and squeezed it gently in a show of support. "Now, go in there and knock 'em dead. Figaratively speaking, of course."

"Of course," Sam said nervously.

"Show em what you're made of. Not completely. That should be left for you and Cas to enjoy privately. We'll be right behind you."

"Uh, thanks. No, seriously, thanks. You didn't have to do this but you did. I know that we've had our ups and downs, Bar... James, but now, I think you can be called a friend."

Bardulf smiled. "Aw, thanks, Sam. If you had just sat down with Cas and told him your feelings, then all these misunderstandings wouldn't have happened." He gave Sam a once over. "You look hot."

"He's right," Barty leered at Sam. "I so should have gotten you to strip when we were fake dating."

"Thanks. You still haven't told me how flexible you are."

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Bardulf smacked Sam on the behind. "Now, go get 'im."

Sam gave him a look. He still wasn't used to the red head acting like that, even though he knew that it was his true personality shining through. He took a deep breath, pushed open the doors to the dining hall and walked in, followed closely by Barty and Bardulf.

The dining room was packed with people and they took no notice of the new arrivals. Sam saw Cas sitting with Dean and smiled. He walked over to them and stood before them. "Cas," he said quietly.

Cas looked up and looked at what Sam was wearing and his jaw dropped. "Sam?"

Dean turned to Cas and noticed he wasn't looking him any more. He turned to where Cas was looking and then looked up in shock. "Sammy? What the hell? You look like a stripper."

"You look good," Cas commented. "I mean, you look good in whatever you wear but this really looks good." His face grew serious. "Did you mean it? The song... You sounded really good."

"Yes." Sam grew embarrassed. "I did. I understand if you want to be just friends but I wanted to let you know that I..."

"Sam!" Cas said loudly, drawing the attention of a few girls sitting nearby. "I don't mind. I feel the same. I didn't think you'd like me and..."

"Will you just kiss already?" Bardulf spoke up from behind them, making Sam jump as he had forgotten that he was standing there. "Just so I can sit down and have a coffee."

"Um," Sam said eloquently. He looked at Cas again, who leaned forward, almost as if he wanted Sam to kiss him. "Are you sure?"

Cas didn't answer, he just leaned further forward and captured Sam's lips with his own in a quick kiss, ignoring the 'finally' coming from Barty, Dean and Bardulf in a chorus.

Sam pulled back. "We have a lot to talk about, Cas."

"Indeed we do, Sam. But first, let's have breakfast."

Sam noticed that Dean was watching him and Cas interact with a smile on his face. Sam knew that he'd have to thank Dean for helping to get them together and wondered exactly how to do it.

Dean looked at Sam. "When did you get singing lessons, Sammy?"

"Uh, Barty helped me."

"Oh."

"You sounded good, Sam," Bardulf commented as he sat down next to Dean.

Dean shifted over, not really taking much notice of Bardulf but he smiled at Barty who sat on the other side of Bardulf. "You sounded good, Dude. You really play the guitar well." He looked at Bardulf. "And those drums.... Do you play in a band of your own?"

Bardulf turned to face Dean. "Yes, I play guitar and drums. I, er, happened to be playing the guitar this time."

Dean looked abashed. "So you were on the guitar? Dude, you sounded awesome."

Bardulf smiled, a genuine smile which lit up his whole face. "Why thanks, Dean. Anything to get Sam and Cas together."

Dean gave Bardulf a long look, almost like he was trying to figure something out. "Yeah, you're a regular Cupid," he muttered.

"Dean, he is wearing too many clothes to be a Cupid," Cas interjected. "I assume he's wearing clothes under that black trenchcoat of his."

Dean sighed, after looking down at what Bardulf was wearing, almost like he could see what was actually worn underneath the trenchcoat. "Cas, everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption"."

Cas tilted his head in confusion, a gesture that made Sam want to kiss him again.

"The Long Kiss Goodnight?" Bardulf questioned with a smirk on his face. "Really, Dean?"

Dean didn't answer for a long time, he had a thoughful expression on his face.

"So," Barty spoke up, startling Sam and Cas, "what do you two have planned for today? Are you going to go back to your room and make the beast with two backs?"

"Barty!" Sam exclaimed, even though he wondered why he was so shocked that he would ask that. Maybe it was because Barty had used a Shakespearian phrase. "I can't believe you said that."

"Oh, should I have asked if you two were going to shag, screw, rut against each other like cats in heat, get to the fu...."

Bardulf quickly placed his hand over Barty's mouth, muffling the rest of his sentence. "I'm sorry about him. I've been wanting to trade him in for a tortoise but so far, no one's willing to put up with him."

"I think you have a lot to talk about."

"Not the only ones," Sam retorted, giving Bardulf a significant look.

"I've made peace that he doesn't like me as Bardulf," Bardulf commented, causing Dean to look at him in a confused way.

"I thought your first name was James," Dean stated. "According to Cas anyway."

"Ah, that explains it," Bardulf commented. "Yes, my first name is James. Bardulf is a mispronounciation of my middle name... and very meaningful." He looked at Sam. "Don't you say a word."

"What's your middle name then, if not Bardulf?"

Bardulf looked at Barty instead of answering. "Take a guess."

"Uh, I dunno. Why are you looking at Barty?"

Barty sighed. "Let's put it this way, his middle name is the same as my full first name. And, no, I'm not going to tell you what it's short for."

"And your last name?" Dean asked, knowing that he won't get an answer to the middle name question.

Sam smiled. "Have a guess, Dean."

"You know it?"

"Wasn't that hard to figure out."

"Here's a clue," Bardulf said, leaning towards Dean. "Google the meaning of Bardulf and then that'll be the answer to all your questions."

"Why are you making it hard for Dean?" Cas asked. "There's an easy way to answer his questions."

"You know too? Who else knows?"

"Darcy knows. Mr Willis knows, obviously."

"Because I like making it challenging."

"You're a lunatic," Barty commented, good naturedly.

"Aye, but a singing lunatic," Bardulf answered in a broad Scottish accent.

"Now, stop mocking Barty," Dean said.

"I'm not mocking him." He sighed. "As I told Sam, many moons ago, I'm actually Scottish."

"He is," Barty elaborated. "We've known each other for years."

"Is that why you seemed to dislike each other on the first day that Barty came?" Dean asked. "You were old school friends that drifted apart and it turned the love you had for each other into into hate."

"Why are you so desperate to pair us off with each other?" Barty questioned. "He said he'd help us get together as a side bonus of getting Sam and Cas together," he added, looking at Bardulf.

"He did. I was there," Sam added.

Bardulf raised an eyebrow behind his glasses. "Really? Me and Barty... We...er, we are not like that."

"You have a lot of UST. You need to solve it. Go forth and do so."

"Bugger that!" Bardulf blurted out. "I'd rather have you, Dean."

Dean stared at Bardulf. "Say what?"

"In American speak, I believe that James has just told you he likes you," Barty said. "He's not the only one."

"Well, I like you too. Uh, James, the Scottish accent makes you sound sexy but..."

"But?"

"I like Barty and his brother too. Don't think I can pick between three people."

"We can share!" Barty exclaimed. "J won't mind."

"I told you that already, Barty," Bardulf huffed into his coffee.

"Am I missing something?" Dean asked, giving Barty and Bardulf a look. He looked like the lightbulb had suddenly gone on over his head. "No, I know I am. I'm wrong about the amount of people that like me, aren't I?" Dean dropped his fork on the table and stared at Bardulf. "You... you...You're J Brightwolf, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Sam commented, reaching over and pulling Bardulf's glasses off his nose.

Bardulf ducked his head quickly and stood up. Barty stood up as well and pulled off his coat, exposing the outfit underneath.

Dean dropped his knife on the table when Bardulf lifted his head and gave him a wicked smile.

"Surprised?" Bardulf asked, as he messed his hair up some more, giving it a tossled look. He bowed at Dean, bending almost double at the waist. "At your service."

"Yeah, a bit."

Bardulf moved to sit down next to Dean again. "Glad I don't have to wear those glasses any more. They hurt my nose."

"I hate you," Dean declared grumpily.

"No, you don't. By the way, how long did you know who I was?"

"Sam left his laptop logged in and I viewed his internet history."

"Right. Okay. Uh, so now what?"

"Well, you and I are going to have a long chat about things."

"Can I come?" Barty questioned. "Just to mediate things."

Bardulf gave Barty a look. "You mediate? Remember what happened back in Scotland?"

"What?" Barty looked confused. "A lot of things happened back there."

"Does the phrase 'run free, little kitties, run free' ring a bell?"

"She was asking for it. Besides, you were the one who got them do to do 'The Frog Song' while in his office."

Dean shook his head. "I don't think I want to know."

Cas tilted his head. "I don't understand."

"Let's just say that a prank was played on a teacher back in Scotland. We're like the Weasley twins but with better hair."

"Anything else we should know?" Sam asked, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Yeah, I'm really a time traveller, that also happens to be a vampire/werewolf hybrid, that travels around in a blue police box," Bardulf answered sarcastically.

"So nothing else then?" Dean commented, making a mental note to check Bardulf just in case he was a werewolf, vampire or demon.

"Sam and I also need to have a chat," Cas stated, giving Sam a significant look.

"Yeah, uh, we'll be back. We got to talk," Sam said, standing up and holding his hand out to Cas, who took it and also stood up.

"Okay, see you later. Don't hurry back," Dean said. "I'll be in my room with these two if you need anything." He gave Sam a look. "It's about time, you two. Go, you crazy kids." He watched them go with a fond smile. "They'll be a while, won't they?"

"Course. They have a lot of making up to do."

"Bardulf! We really need to have a chat of our own about keeping secrets."

"Uh, okay. But I'd really prefer it if you called me James."

"Okay, James, we need to talk."


	10. Chapter 10

Sam dragged Cas up to their room by the sleeve. "Okay, now we can talk... in private," Sam said, shutting the door behind them.

"How long?"

Sam ran his hand through his hair nervously. He had no idea where the hell he picked up that habit but it seemed comforting to him. "Honestly? I dunno. It's been brewing for a while and then the whole de-aging thing happened and... what about you?"

"I am not entirely sure. It just happened. I believe it started during the Apocalypse."

"So we liked each other and we were to dense to see that the other person liked us back. It took the devious efforts of other people to get us to see that? I'm gonna send them a fruit basket or something."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I am not as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll."

Sam gave Cas a look. "What? Oh, were you watching Dogma again?"

"Yes. Although the movie is full of inaccuracies and the real Metatron is, as Dean would say, a dick, it is an enjoyable film."

"Good to know," Sam said, while thinking 'Dean has a lot to answer for.'

Cas seemed to read Sam's mind. "It wasn't Dean."

"Okay, I'll take your word for it." Sam sat on the bed and Cas sat next to him. "Uh, how do you want to work this?"

"I believe we start with kissing and see how it progresses from there."

"Sounds good to me," Sam leaned forward amd gently pressed his lips to Cas' in a chaste kiss.

"No, Sam," Cas said quietly when Sam pulled back slightly. "Kiss me like you kissed me in the dining room. I liked that."

Sam felt his heart skip a beat. He hadn't kissed anyone for a long time so he was worried that he was a bit rusty. He shrugged to himself and pulled Cas in for a deeper kiss.

Cas kissed Sam back and willingly opened his mouth so Sam could slid his tongue into his mouth along side his own.

The two of them tangled tongues for a while before Sam found himself kissing down the side of Cas' neck. He pulled back slightly, breathing heavily. "I won't rush you. Tell me to stop and I will. No questions asked."

"Sam," Cas answered, already sounding wrecked. If he was like this after a kiss, what would he be like after they had gone all the way. Of course Sam would go at the pace set by Cas. "Don't stop. I think we've waited long enough, don't you?"

"What did I do to deserve you?" Sam asked. He held up a hand as Cas opened his mouth to reply. "It was a rhetorical question, Cas."

"I see."

"Look, we need to be on the same page. I won't rush you into anything you aren't comfortable with. I just want to be close to you."

"And you are." Cas punctuated his words with kisses on Sam's jawline. "Let's just see how it goes."

"Yes, I can do that," Sam said, moving his head so he was kissing Cas on the lips again. "We have a lot to talk about."

*~*~*~*~

The next morning, Sam and Cas walked down to breakfast, hand in hand, smiling dopily at each other. "I really liked last night," Sam stated.

"I did too."

"What took us so long?"

"I think we were oblivious to each other's feelings for each other. It took Dean..."

"And the terrible twosome..."

"...To get us to realise that we liked each other."

"Yeah, we need to thank them. Where are they anyway?"

Cas didn't answer as he pulled Sam in for a kiss, which Sam returned eagerly.

"Hey, hey, hey! Break it up, you two," Dean's voice said as the person in question sauntered, with a noticiable limp. When he came closer, Sam noticed that his hair was sticking up all over the place and he had two sets of teethmarks in his neck. "Glad to see that you two finally hooked up. It only took you, what, five months."

"What the hell happened to you?"

Dean smiled a crooked grin. "Twins, dude. Same time."

"I don't want to know."

"Dean, it looks like you were attacked by a wild animal... or two."

"Yeah, well. Both twins bite." Dean smirked. "You should see Barty. Poor guy looks like he was mauled by a vampire or werewolf or something." He paused. "I'm not entirely sure that Bardulf, or I guess I should call him James now, isn't a werewolf or vampire."

"Do we need to hunt him?"

"No. Checked him with silver and checked for fangs but no dice. He's just got sharp teeth."

"You cut him? How did you swing that?"

"Told him I wanted to try a bit of bloodplay. Surprisingly he was all for it."

"I don't want to know."

"You asked."

Sam huffed. "Dean, they have no clue on what we do. What happens when we go back to our normal ages? Then what?"

"You're right. They deserve to know. In fact, I think we should tell them."

"And what happens when they freak out and refuse to speak to you any more?" Dean seemed lost for an answer. "It must be serious if you're thinking of exposing them to our world."

"I want them to be prepared."

Sam shook his head and changed the subject. "Just one question, and I don't want any details, but who was in the middle?" Sam asked, curious at Dean's reply.

"I was. I can die happy now."

"I will resurrect you if you do die," Cas pointed out. "I mean, I would if I could."

"Figure of speech, Cas... Although, those two might just kill me with their stamina." Dean smirked. "So, out of you two, who was on top?"

"I'm not telling you. Not all of us like to broadcast their love life for all to know."

"Why not? It's a natural thing." Dean winced. "I'm going to be feeling this for days. That's a sign of a very good time had by all."

"Too much info."

"Prude."

"Sam is most definitely not a prude. In fact he..." Cas trailed off. "Is that something we should not tell Dean?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, Cas. Definitely not."

"Right," Dean said with a happy smile. "I'm glad you finally sorted yourselves out. I was getting a headache from all the emo'ness that was plaguing you two. Okay, chick flick's over now."

"Dean..."

"What?"

"You set us up! You caused chaos! You roped the twins into it. There was misunderstandings galore."

Dean shrugged. "It all worked out. You got the guy of your dreams. I got twins."

Sam gave Dean a look. "Dean... This whole thing had the makings of a Shakespeare comedy written all over it."

"Hey, as Shakespeare once said, 'All's well that ends well'."

"Dean..." Sam gave Dean a warning look.

"What?"

"Go grab some breakfast. I'm sure you're hungry."

"Yeah, I could eat," Dean muttered. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, kids," he called behind him as he walked towards the dining hall.

"That's a very short list," Sam commented, shaking his head at the retreating form of Dean, before turning back to Cas.

"Or a blank list," Cas agreed, reaching for Sam.

"Now where were we?" Sam questioned, pulling Cas in for another kiss.

Cas returned the kiss eagerly. He abruptly pulled back slightly. "I think we can have our curtain call on this whole affair."

"I agree. Let's go backstage for a bit of offscreen action and hope that there are no calls for encores," Sam agreed. "Or we can go for breakfast."

"Yes. Breakfast sounds good."

Sam smiled at Cas as they made their way into the dining room to get some breakfast.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue which clears up a major plot hole, which I realised after posting, in the fic coming soon so stay tuned.


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